Free Beer Makes the Canadians the Most Attractive Athletes at the Olympics


The Olympics are known for national pride, rigorous competition, and lots of athlete-on-athlete sexytime.  After all, these are young people at the peak of their physical prowess surrounded by other world-class competitors – of course they’re going to go for a few belt notches as they go for the gold.  They’re even using the dating app Tinder to find hookups in the Olympic Village.

If I was running the American team, I’d encourage my athletes to get in there and be reckless – it’s our chance to breed the super athletes of the future.  The offspring of Norway’s Ola Vigen Hattestad and our beloved Jamie Anderson would be unbeatable on slippery surfaces of all types in the 2034 games.  USA-USA-USA!

Of course, a lot goes into choosing a prospective mate – there’s animal magnetism, personality traits, and now, thanks to those clever Canadians, FREE BEER!  This should make the choice of which house to cruise in the Olympic village a little easier for beer-loving athletes from around the world.

Canada’s Olympic house has a fridge that dispenses free beer, but there’s a catch – you need to scan a Canadian passport to open it.  Which means you either have to be a Canadian, or be friendly enough with one of our neighbors to the north for them to grant you access to the promised land.  And to the beer fridge.  🙂

Judging by the logo on its door, it appears the free fridge is the brainchild of the folks at Molson, so it’s probably full of their products.  While some beer snobs might sneer at this, I’ve enjoyed many a Molson Brador purchased when crossing the border.  Plus it’s free, and Canada sent a bunch of good looking and talented athletes to this year’s games.

I say we send the American team over there right away for a few beers, a little chit chat, and whole lot of Gold in 2034!


Here’s the beer fridge in action from a PR stunt Molson pulled last summer:



Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Categories: Beer, News


Craft beer nerd, frequent beer blogger and occasional home brewer.

Join the Madness

Like beer? Like whiskey? Like goofing off? Follow Us!

7 Comments on “Free Beer Makes the Canadians the Most Attractive Athletes at the Olympics”

  1. GregH
    February 12, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    Very cool.

    • February 12, 2014 at 11:46 am #

      Especially if you have access to a Canadian passport!

  2. Nicole
    February 12, 2014 at 12:00 pm #

    Well, Canada already has 10 medals – 4 of which are gold – and it’s only Day 5…so does that mean Molson is the new Gatorade? Drink/breakfast of champions??

    • February 12, 2014 at 12:04 pm #

      I think you might be on to something there, although I haven’t won any medals (yet!) and I drink plenty of beer!

      At any rate, i love the idea of Olympic-sized beer muscles!!

  3. February 12, 2014 at 12:50 pm #

    Have to hand it to the erstwhile morons at MillerCoors. This is a MUCH better idea than Miller Fortune, er, (eh)… Zima Gold.


    • February 12, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

      My guess is this came from the Molson branch of the family tree…

  4. February 14, 2014 at 1:22 pm #

    Anyone feel like lending me their passport? Oh, and a ticket to the games.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: