I know folks up and down the east coast are all shook up about the 5.9 magnitude earthquake we had today. I could feel it in my basement office here in New Jersey, although as my chair swayed I just assumed I was having some sort of mini-stroke. I am 40 now after all.
I started Googling right after I figured out it was a seismic event, not a neurological one. Like always, beer somehow managed to wiggle itself into the mix and I wound up discovering Earthquake High Gravity Lager. While natural disasters are bad, it looks like this man-made one might be even worse.
Nature’s latest earthquake did no real damage, but the same cannot be said for Earthquake High Gravity Lager, which packs an ABV of 12% and the promise of a throbbing head in the morning. It’s made by the same folks who brought us Four Loko (or “date rape in a can” as the kids call it) so you know it’s a high-quality product with its heart in the right place. 😦
To be clear, I haven’t personally sampled Earthquake High Gravity Lager, the same way I’ve never had my teeth kicked in or someone steal my shoes as I slept under a bridge. While common sense says stay away from hooligans and hobos, the folks over at Rate Beer say stay away from Earthquake.
A fella called BlackIPA says, “Wow. If you are drinking this beer, you have officially hit rock bottom. Nothing here but sugar and alcohol. Tastes like apple juice mixed with vodka.” And uvajed sums it up nicely with ” Most malt liquors are bad, but this foul concoction is perhaps the least palatable iteration of beer yet brewed.” So there you have it.
If we’re going to learn anything from this latest flexing of Mother Nature’s muscles, it’s to always evacuate the building first and ask questions later, and always *always* avoid malt liquors packaged in silver cans with scratchy writing on the label.
I’m glad to see some good come out of this. 🙂