We all know that drinking beer can lead to a pudgy midsection, dull reflexes and an over-inflated sense of self-confidence. Now researchers at the University of Florida say we can add red itchy bumps to that list. According to a recent study, a certain group of females seek out us beer drinkers over our teetotaling brethren, namely female…mosquitos. Well that sucks!
Researcher Joseph Conlon laid out the science for MSNBC:
Mosquitoes are more attracted to people after they drink a 12-ounce beer. It could be that people breathe a little harder after a cold one or their skin is a little warmer, suggests Conlon. But that won’t stop him from having a brewski, even though he considers himself a mosquito magnet.
So it turns out that mosquitos like heavy breathers with warm skin, and drinking beer turns you into one. Mosquitos also like people who dress in dark colors, so those PBR-loving hipsters better beware. There was no mention of their ironic facial hair attracting the bloodsuckers, and that makes sense – that mess doesn’t attract ANY females!
Anyway, fear not my fellow beer drinkers, as I think I’ve come up with a solution here. Whadya think?
Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Probably tastes better than Four Loko.
*than. D’oh.
Fixed it. It’s good to be the king!
I guess that would make me the pissboy. 😦
Better than Count DeMoney.
Noooo – it’s Count Deee Monay!!
Ha! That’s probably true! 🙂
Hmm. I must be a warm, heavy breather to begin with because mosquitoes have always loved my blood. I’ll try drinking a can or two of OFF as you recommend and get back to you!
Sounds like a plan, Scott. And if you don’t want to drink it, you can always dab a bit behind your ears.
Interesting…
Here a link to an article about research being done with citrus extracts as a bug repellant (grapefruit in particular): http://bit.ly/lw0jmZ
I’m sure there is some mad-brew-scientist out there working on a solution to this problem. Perhaps a beer made with grapefruit extract/peel that you spritz behind your ears before drinking? Just a thought.
Or you can just hide in the house like this pasty white boy does!
Don’t hide! If you drink more and get your BAC up the mosquitoes will get drunk of your blood and crash & burn. I try to maintain my blood type at a 9% ABV Imperial Rye Ale A.B. Positive Mix.
I don’t like beers with Off flavors.
Zing! 🙂