Dogfish Head Fish Finder: FAIL!

FAIL!!  No Dogfish Head Brews within 100 miles of Boise, Idaho!  If you are going to have a feature like this on your website, you would think you would be in all urban areas.  Otherwise SHUT UP about your off centered crap!


EDIT BY JIM: Here’s what happens when you do the same for my zip code, Don. 🙂

Click to Enlarge (or Enrage, if you're Don).



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63 Comments on “Dogfish Head Fish Finder: FAIL!”

  1. November 11, 2010 at 5:44 pm #

    Woah! Bad day? This is easy for me to say being among the fortunate ones who have Dogfish Head available for purchase within a mile of my house, but I think “crap” is a little over the line. I think they are one of the more universally great breweries around. *ducking and covering*

    • Don
      November 11, 2010 at 6:21 pm #

      OK, first of all…yeah, easy to be all lovin’ the DFH when you have it a mile from the house! Second, I’m pretty sure that Sam can handle a little criticism. Finally I agree that DFH is a great brewery, and one I would love to have access to, and one that is expanding and has conveniently skipped the state of Idaho. I would however stop far short of saying “universally” when so many of us are shut out of the conversation with DFH. That is why I’m a little pissed off here, is the lack of universality. You would think if you were going to have a page on the website that helped people locate the product that there shouldn’t be big holes with over a million people on the map!

      • November 11, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

        I understand what you’re going through, Don. We don’t get Hamm’s around here. OR Schlitz.

        You can see by my update to your post that we might be able to scrounge up some DFH…

        • Don
          November 11, 2010 at 6:30 pm #

          Ha Ha Jim. Go take a flying leap! Am I wrong to think that if you are going to have a product locator on your site, that indeed within 100 miles (which is the largest radius available by the way) there should be a place to get the product? I’m thinkin’ I’m right here, and that DFH is being a bunch of horse’s patutes for putting up something like this for universal access when there stuff obviously isn’t available universally.

      • November 12, 2010 at 6:23 pm #

        @Jim – You can’t get Schlitz in Jersey?

        @Don – not even at a decent bar or trendy restaurant? There’s some west coast beer I can’t find at any beer store but have had it at bars that focus on getting great weekly beer specials. The East Coast is awesome. Center of the universe probably.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 6:33 pm #

          Nope! Believe me I’ve left no stone unturned!

        • November 12, 2010 at 6:40 pm #

          I actually have no idea whether or not I can get Schlitz in NJ. I don’t think I’ve ever looked. 🙂

  2. November 11, 2010 at 6:41 pm #

    Like Sam Kinison told the Ethiopians – Move to where the beer is!!

    Or something like that!

    • Don
      November 11, 2010 at 6:46 pm #

      Big difference here Jim, I have food, I have breweries, I have roads, I have a flippin airport within 5 miles of where I work! They can get here! They choose not to.

      • November 11, 2010 at 7:07 pm #

        It’s hard to complain when you’ve made your choices. It’s not like they were there when you moved in, and then they left. Like Oscar Blues. 🙂

        • Don
          November 11, 2010 at 7:14 pm #

          Checking Twitter there are also big holes in Missouri and Kansas. Guess they haven’t heard about St. Louis or Kansas City either!!!

  3. MikeLovesBeer
    November 12, 2010 at 9:20 am #

    As I’ve offered before Don, I will gladly send you some DFH stuff if you wish. Pretty easy here.

  4. Bill Bennett
    November 12, 2010 at 10:57 am #

    Me thinks that Don needs to move.

    • November 12, 2010 at 11:18 am #

      Or at least stop bitching about where he lives.

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 11:36 am #

      OK, I am not “Bitching” (as my brother so eloquently puts it) about where I live. I live in a very nice place. But what I don’t appreciate is posers. And to my way of thinking Dogfish Head is being a poser putting out this fish finder well in advance of when their beer is available on a nationwide basis. Perhaps Sam Adams or New Belgium or Sierra Nevada could pull off something like this, but DFH is just Posing as a big player and they are not.

      • November 12, 2010 at 11:45 am #

        I got zero results for within 100 miles of St. Louis. So throw me into the pitchfork and torch crowd that wants to burn down the Fish Finder page.

        What really slays me is that you know they’re delivering to Chicago. Drive 4 more hours down I-55 and hook a brother up with some Palo Santa Marron. Or as I call it most of the time, since I can never recall the name when I want to, “Santa Claus Nachos”.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 11:56 am #

          Yeah, my whole point is DFH is trying to act like a big player and they are not. This might be due to the fact that Sam’s new show is hitting Discovery in January, but still, if you only sell in 30 states, or whatever, don’t act like you can be found everywhere! There is also another huge hole in Kansas City! The Fish Finder is not ready for prime time!

        • November 12, 2010 at 12:01 pm #

          I wonder if this has anything to do with Budweiser being in STL? Perhaps they have muscled DFH out through distributor intimidation (or by owning them outright)?

          Seems suspicious to me. Like they know DFH is the next Sam Adams and they’re doing whatever they can to wall them out of their (former) home turf.

      • November 12, 2010 at 12:28 pm #

        That wouldn’t surprise me in the least. They’ve bullied the poo out of poor Schlafly forever, to the point that it’s not easy to find Schlafly products at a lot of local festivals.

        It reached the point that Schlafly decided to have their own festival, with all of their products, as a big middle finger to A-B.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 12:41 pm #

          Let the conspiracy theories begin! Perhaps the two of you could start your own blog where you discuss the merits of the different shapes of tin foil hats! 😉

      • November 12, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

        Pointed is definitely the best, as it allows the bad ideas to slide off much in the way that an umbrella works.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 2:30 pm #

          I guess that blog would be pretty short!

  5. November 12, 2010 at 11:05 am #

    247… zipcode: 98201. Hells yeah.

    • November 12, 2010 at 11:17 am #

      I love to see you rubbing it in!

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 11:37 am #

      Good for you Tex. I wonder if you still lived in Garland if you would feel the same?

      • November 12, 2010 at 4:56 pm #

        I have no clue. I rarely drink DFH. But Garland, TX (75043) reveals 341 establishments, so maybe I would. 🙂

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 4:59 pm #


  6. November 12, 2010 at 11:47 am #

    Poor Don. I’m confused if the Fish Finder promises universal access nationwide in the fine print? Is it not working? There’s lots of stuff not available in NJ either (more than the great examples from Jim BTW). It doesn’t mean the brewery is poseurish or teasing.

    I’m sure they’d love to be available in every corner of the nation, but I don’t think that’s reality.

    At least we can both be united in rage that Bells is also a lame brewery as both Idaho and NJ are among the shunned states!

    • November 12, 2010 at 11:56 am #

      Oh, slings and arrows to my heart – no Bell’s!!

      I might be hitting PA this weekend. Perhaps I’ll pick up some goodies out there.

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 11:59 am #

      I share your rage at Bells too! If they don’t sell in all 50 states they have no business having a “Finder” on their site. Lust list the damn cities you do sell in and be able to click on it and get retail info. Don make some app looking thing and then not deliver. That’s wrong.

    • November 12, 2010 at 4:57 pm #

      Harumpf. I don’t need Bells.

  7. November 12, 2010 at 11:56 am #

    Imagine you’re me for a minute …

    Dogfish is everywhere; but this Fat Tire stuff that all the bikey people talk about, is a mystery

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 12:02 pm #

      Well Randy, perhaps a trade is in order, because fat tire and all the other crappy New Belgian Beers are all over the place around here.

    • November 12, 2010 at 12:02 pm #

      I hear Fat Tire is extremely overrated, Randy, so it’s a good trade.

      But it does have a pretty bicycle on the label, so it has that going for it.

  8. November 12, 2010 at 11:59 am #

    How is Dogfish Head trying to act “like a big player” Don?
    – By trying to grow into a bigger brewery? By trying to create demand for their products?

    – By Sam working to become a household name?

    – By having a locator on their website so folks can find their beer if it’s near?

    None of these things make a promise that you’ll be able to find their beers near you.

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 12:07 pm #

      By having a Fish Finder that sorts only by Zipcode! That is how. If you were to look at by state, that’d be different, but Zipcode implies something more than they are even remotely able to deliver on at this point. What would be better is a page that lists the states, the cities, then the retail outlets by a series of clicks. That way they could black out the states and cities that have no shot. This finder thing by zipcode is stupid. I don’t even know the zipcodes in other states. I travel, I might want to pick up their brews while I’m traveling, but because of this stupid fish finder thing I don’t know. So if you are going to do something like this you better be in almost every 100 mile radius, or do something different!

      • November 12, 2010 at 12:23 pm #

        Sorry, Don, but your “outrage” here seems a bit forced. The Fish Finder is fine. They probably thought zip code is the most convenient way for people to find their products nearest to where they are. It’s available in so many shops (even if there are none in Idaho), a state-based location system would be totally unwieldy. It would come up with hundreds of locations in most states, making it a totally worthless tool for people looking for their beer.

        I get that you can’t get DFH within 100 miles of Boise, and that’s a bummer. I think this is illustrated in a funny way by your pic of the Fish Finder. FAIL indeed.

        But to say the Fish Finder is implying ubiquity of the product because you can put your zip code in is silly. Outside of what Rick is doing at Brewforia, it’s hard to get East Coast beers in Idaho. IT’s the state, not DFH’d fault.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 12:26 pm #

          You’re stupid.

        • November 12, 2010 at 12:35 pm #

          I’ll take that as a “win” for me!!

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 12:37 pm #

          You should do no such thing. I just didn’t want to write another lengthy explanation that you would again mock. So I just said it in a short and concise way. No “win” for you, just carpel tunnel for me to keep up with your preposterous arguments.

        • November 12, 2010 at 12:54 pm #

          Please, Don. It’s a good tool that doesn’t happen to work in Boise. It’s like moving into an Amish community and bitching that you can’t get cable TV.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 12:57 pm #

          Or St. Lewis, or Kansas City, or, or, or… A good tool works all the time, not just some times. What if you had a drill that only worked 50% of the time? I’m pretty sure you would say that drill sucks. So Fish Finder sucks…Period.

        • November 12, 2010 at 1:04 pm #

          Well if you were working under water and tried to use that drill, you shouldn’t be surprised (or shocked – zing!) when it doesn’t work.

          Don’t blame DFH for telling you what you already know.

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

          Sounds like someone who has access to all the DFH he wants.

      • November 12, 2010 at 6:37 pm #

        This post is thick with envy. I’d be angry and jealous too. I really would. I just finished a Troeggs mad elf and maybe I’ll celebrate the commonwealth of PA with a Burton Baton. Do you have to boil water before you drink it? I take that back. All of it. It was the mad elf talking.

        • November 12, 2010 at 6:56 pm #

          He can’t get that either, Justin, so you’re really rubbing it in.

          Keep up the good work!

        • Don
          November 12, 2010 at 6:59 pm #

          I can’t get Troegs, but I can get the Criminally Insane Elf! That’s on my list this year!

  9. brew muse
    November 12, 2010 at 1:08 pm #

    I think the website just doesn’t work. I live 5 miles from a bar that has DFH on tap and a grocery that sells DFH. I live 40 miles from Cleveland where DFH is widely available. The “Fish Finder says there are NO locations within 100 miles. I know that isn’t true.

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

      Well in their defense they did say that it was beta, and that they still needed to work out kinks. I’m pretty sure it is working fine in Idaho.

  10. November 12, 2010 at 2:05 pm #

    “It’s like moving into an Amish community and bitching that you can’t get cable TV.”

    They DO have cable in Lancaster County, PA … Imagine the irony of watching p0rn in “Intercourse” “Paradise” or “Bird-in-Hand”

    That Troegs is good stuff, but sadly NOT availble in ID … nor IA, IL nor IN [just to stay on topic]

  11. November 12, 2010 at 2:08 pm #

    I entered my Zip Code and it replied “Look in the garage, dumbass”

    • November 12, 2010 at 2:13 pm #


      • Don
        November 12, 2010 at 2:16 pm #


        • November 12, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

          Ha! Ha! As in funny.

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 2:15 pm #

      Nice Randy…nice.

  12. November 12, 2010 at 3:00 pm #

    Yeah, Jim, you’re lucky to live in Jersey with all those ghetto liquor marts. Think I’ll go have a Bell’s.

    • November 12, 2010 at 3:02 pm #


      • November 12, 2010 at 3:05 pm #

        Yeah I think 18 of the fish finder’s locations are in walking distance.

        Like this place: – where I’m filling in filling growlers here and there. Good people and good beer.

  13. Matt
    November 12, 2010 at 3:08 pm #

    Hmmm, I thought you were 1/2 joking before I read your follow-up comments. Now I see you are only 1/4 joking. I don’t see where DFH makes any claim of availability nation-wide. Could they do a better job outlining their distribution? Probably. I like Bell’s beer finder because they let me know right off the bat that they’re idiots for ignoring the craft beer havens of CA/OR/CO.

  14. November 12, 2010 at 6:51 pm #

    Thanks for the vastly entertaining and cheap entertainment. Now that you’ve made me thirsty reading about DFH I think I’ll walk the 5 minutes to the local Jewel and pick up some 90. No fish finder needed. Sorry Don.

    • November 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm #

      5 minutes? That far away?!

      That’s almost as bad as Don. 😉

    • Don
      November 12, 2010 at 6:55 pm #

      Really John, if you are going to Jewel, its not the 90 that I’m envious of, its the Sausage! We got the worlds worst sausage in this part of the world, and I have been Jonesing big time for some midwest heart attack in a tube! 🙂 Enjoy!

      • November 12, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

        Rather have to go 5 minutes to get a DFH than live in Jersey. 5 minute drive to the best polish sausage shop in chicago and 1 minute to some mighty fine italian sausage at a great little deli. I got the hook up. Let me know when and I’ll hook you up accordingly Don.

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