These things happen so fast.
Just a few years ago, the Heineken bottle was a happy and innocent little green vessel, one that liked to hang around the house with the grownups and maybe have a play date with its buddy Chip (and sometimes his brother Dip) on a Sunday afternoon. It loved to watch football with you, or snuggle up and read a book.
But things have changed. The Heineken bottle has grown up, and it’s ready to dance shirtless all night in a laserbeam sweatbox packed with the beautiful people.
The Heineken Ignite bottle concept debuted a few days ago at Milan Design Week. Packed with sensors and LED lights, the bottle throbs to the beat the DJ is spinning, flashes as you click it to another bottle, and dances with lights as you take a sip.
In other words, baby is tripping balls.
The “magic” all comes from a reusable module that snaps onto the bottom of the bottle, a sort of psychedelic cozy intent on setting off any epileptic within eyeshot.
Like all experimental things teenagers do, there no word on just how harmful this new partying behavior is on its insides (you know, the beer), but I can’t imagine blasting light into the stuff is good for it, especially because green bottles don’t offer the best photo protection to begin with.
Unlike it’s more grounded craft beer brethren – you know, the one who still plays with cans and enjoys quiet conversation – we always knew that one day the cute little green bottle would be drawn to life in the fast lane, but you’re never really prepared when it happens.
Maybe 28 days at the recycling center will help…
Video of the Ignite bottle in action:
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Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
well obviously you need a gimmick when your beer tastes foul and Bud Light is dominating your market share…
Wonder what would happen if they put all that energy into the beer…
uhhhmmm….
This such a phenomenally idiotic concept that I’m frankly stunned the idiots (er, I mean marketing geniuses) at the Swill Shops didn’t think of it first. I mean, they put the first beer in space (wait, no, they didn’t have any part in that interwebs malarky, did they? – *wink). Maybe they’ll sign Danny Terrio or Adrian Zmed as spokesdiscodancers to complete the commercial package.
As far as any harmful effects the lights might have on the beer… well, its not as though there’s any Dragon’s Milk in there in the first place.
Cheers!
True, it’s like a moron killing brain cells by smoking pot, I guess. What’s the real damage?
Um, I’ll pass.
Me too – especially because I don’t drink from bottles!
I am really easily impressed but I think it’s a cool and fun idea. But the first thing I thought of does it fit other bottles? Cheers!
I think it’d fit any other ones that are the same size as the Heineken bottle, but that’s just speculation. They could probably sell a ton of them around college campuses…
Bwaaahmmm, oontz, oontz…. Maybe that’s how you’ll know you’re drinking in Inception EDM land 😉
You’ve just given me an idea for a special Skrillix Edition…
I guess I don’t need my glow sticks anymore
Apparently I’m not in their target market, I don’t get marketing gimmicks. My tastes have evolved but also part of what has turned me away from certain brands is stupid marketing. I used to think Labatt was a pretty decent cheap beer then they started some stupid swedish-bikini-team kind of advertising a few years ago and I thought, you guys have a pretty decent brew you don’t need to lower yourselves to this level… I like Heineken and I used to think of it as a higher end “sophisticated” beer, if you will, again certainly not needing to sink to this level of gimmickery… I guess they’re going for the younger – and apparently stupider (yes, I said stupider) – club crowd. When my beloved Southern Tier stoops to this level I’m done!
Market share and profit margins will make you do weird things.
Well, there goes the PBR market.
You have 2 choices when the quality of your product sucks: 1) improve your product ; or 2) come up w/ some glitzy marketing gimmick. If I didn’t drink it Heinie before (and I didn’t), I sure as hell won’t drink it now.
Hey, LED lighting is a marvel of modern science. Producing more lumens of visible light with very little waste, at a lower wattage means, people in the Third World can enjoy some margin of safety in their lives. LEDs can light pathways once darkened where snakebites were commonplace avoiding the suffering brought on by…. Hold on… did this article say they are lighting Heineken beer bottles with these LEDs? Of course, much better idea, why didn’t I think of that?