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If America Had an Official Toast, What Would it Be?

It’s weird to think that a country as established as America doesn’t have its own official thing to say as we raise our glasses, but that seems to be the case.  “Cheers” is British, “Salud”/”Salute” is Mexican/Italian, “Prost” is German, and “Slainte” is Irish.

But now there’s a (weak) movement afoot to correct this and create an all-American toast.   The Toast of America is an online campaign created by an ad agency in Portland, Maine, aimed at deciding once and for all what us Yanks should say as we clink vessels.

Problem is, the whole thing is floundering a bit.  They’ve been hustling for attention since July 4th, but only have 175 Facebook likes, and one of them is me.  If you’re judged by the company you keep, then these guys are doomed!

The voting was supposed to be over last week, but there was some kind of tie, so there’s a vote-off happening now.  Unfortunately, they’ve only mustered 30 votes since last Monday.

I think the root of the problem is the finalists are kind of lame: 

  • “To Us All!” leads with 15 votes (aren’t we narcissistic?)
  • “Oorah” is next with 8 votes (I’m a little Marine!!)
  • “Onward!” is in last place with 7 votes (why not just say “get over it!”?)

What we need is a toast that reflects what we love as Americans.  I have a few suggestions:

“Wal*Mart!” This is a great toast, because many people bought their cheap hooch here in the first place.  Plus maybe we can work something out where we get an extra special discount if we mention them during our toasts, making Wal*Mart the Official Sponsor of Overindulgence or something.

“Boobs!” As someone who has the Internet and doesn’t believe in Google SafeSearch, I know that these are quite popular.  Why not commemorate them every time we hoist a drink, especially because most guys are probably already thinking of them or scheming up a way to touch some (possibly those of their toastmates)? The ladies can celebrate boobs as well, if only to reaffirm the power their physical form holds over our 13-year-old-boy minds.

“Bacon!” We all know that bacon makes everything better, so why not toasting occasions as well?  The only issue I have with this one is it’ll make me want bacon, and if there isn’t any available, I’ll probably be sad.  But still, bacon!

“Violence!” If cheap merchandise, sex and fatty foods are all contenders here, we can’t leave out our national pastime.  Violence is all over our sports, our video games, and our media, so why not make it center stage when we’re celebrating with friends? Plus, drinking often leads to violence, so why fight it?  As an added bonus, the word itself is quite lyrical when you detach the meaning from it, so non-English speakers will probably think we’re cultured.

Those are my suggestions, but I know you boys and girls might have a few of your own, so lay them on us in the comments.

Bacon!

A special thanks to Will over at the excellent Brew-Trek for letting us know about Toast of America.

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Categories: Beer, Lifestyle

Author:Jim

Craft beer nerd, frequent beer blogger and occasional home brewer.

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45 Comments on “If America Had an Official Toast, What Would it Be?”

  1. August 17, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    Meh, I prefer toasts that people make up on the spot that work for specific contexts. Then we follow it with a “chreers” or “na zdrowie” in Polish.

    • August 17, 2012 at 10:52 am #

      You expect people to be creative? On the spot? You’re going to have to wait a bit for that first sip I’m afraid…

  2. bumper67
    August 17, 2012 at 10:47 am #

    I personally niminate an ice-cold craft beer as the national beverage.

    • August 17, 2012 at 10:53 am #

      For sure on that, except for the ice cold part, as I prefer darker beers that should be served at warmer temps. Also, I’m a nerd. 🙂

  3. August 17, 2012 at 10:50 am #

    Salute! Because we are idiots that don’t know what Salud! means.
    Damn shame “Zicke zacke, zicke zacke, hoi, hoi, hoi” is already taken.

    • August 17, 2012 at 10:54 am #

      I like the Zicke Zacke thing, Oliver. I agree that it’s a shame it’s already spoken for.

      Also, the Man Show. I liked that show.

      • oliverklosoff
        August 17, 2012 at 11:06 am #

        I remember wishing “The Fox” was my dad.

        • August 17, 2012 at 11:22 am #

          I remember wishing I was a trampoline…

  4. August 17, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    Thanks for the mention Jim.

    I’m surprised also that there hasn’t been more of a response to the campaign, guess it just reflects on how apathetic us ‘Mericans are, it’s just easier to steal a toast from another country 🙂

    I’m not too impressed by the finalists either, they all sound like what some government study group would come up with.

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:03 am #

      I think that’s the problem. The should have left room for silliness, and then turned it into something with more gravitas, like Josh did here in the comments. Get people buzzing about it and see if anything seriously cool bubbles up.

      I’m not sure it’s apathy as much as people tuning out a boring set of options.

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:07 am #

      Apathetic Americans, huh? Then let me nominate “Meh.” as our official toast. Or whatever . . . I don’t care.

      • August 17, 2012 at 11:21 am #

        🙂

      • August 17, 2012 at 11:24 am #

        I’d use it, or maybe not

  5. August 17, 2012 at 10:58 am #

    As tempted as I am to make a silly joke, I’m actually serious that I think the national toast should be “Geronimo!” Not only is the term uniquely American as the name of a Native American chief, military genius, and noble leader / master of gun violence in the Old West – but it also carries the sense of “here we go”. It’s a war cry that suggests bravery in the face of foolhardy deeds. If that’s not the perfect and utterly American thing to say before addressing shots of bourbon I don’t know what is.

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:01 am #

      I gotta say, Josh, that’s a pretty good one.

      Except the fact that alcohol and Native Americans have a dicey past, so someone would surely complain that its insensitive.

      Which might make me like it more…

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:11 am #

      I like that one too.

  6. Lenny
    August 17, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    I can toast in various forms, but aside from “Zicke”, “Prost” and “Salud” I like the old…

    “Arriba!
    Abajo!
    Al Centro!
    Adentro!”

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:54 am #

      I think I put at least one of those in chili when I make it…

  7. August 17, 2012 at 11:53 am #

    WalMart!!!

    • August 17, 2012 at 11:55 am #

      F-yeah!!

      • Buck
        August 19, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

        Ahem. “F*ck Yeah!” should be the official toast, with or without the preceding “America!” Using “America” would depend on the circumstances, of course.

  8. Ron
    August 17, 2012 at 11:56 am #

    I’m a Marine, oorah should not be on the list. Honestly I understand the desire for a toast that is our own, however isn’t our cultural melting pot one of the things that we as Americans are proud of. We really don’t have anything that’s truly “American” only (except Football but that’s another subject). Using 1 individual toast is kind of lazy and boring anyway, why not say cheers when drinking an English Brown Ale and Slainte when throwing back some Irish whiskey?

    • August 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm #

      I agree – it’s like them saying Semper Fi or something.

      I think the reason why we DON’T have a toast is the melting pot thing for sure. We’re a mix of other cultures, and many of the drinks we traditionally toast with come from (or their recipes come from) other countries. That shows in our toasts.

      However, as our craft beer brewers and Bourbon distillers are making something uniquely American that’s appreciated worldwide, maybe it’s time to come up with something uniquely American to say while toasting with them.

      • Georgia Cajun
        August 17, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

        My personal favorite is One for all, all for one and every man for himself!

  9. Georgia Cajun
    August 17, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    How about…..Through the lips, past the gums, watch out gut, here it comes!

    • August 17, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

      I like it, but in America, we typically don’t ever address our gut. 🙂

      • Georgia Cajun
        August 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm #

        Cheers to that ! 🙂

  10. Ron
    August 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

    It’s not fun but just plain old “For Honor” would be appropriate.

    • August 17, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

      I think that’s too knighty, like something you’d say right before LARPing…

      • ScottG
        August 17, 2012 at 1:13 pm #

        Well, in college we had a crude toast that began “To honor…”. I’d rather not offend, but it was funny and chauvinistic. Not necessarily fit for a country, but it worked well for a semi-organized drinking club.

    • Dave
      August 17, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

      Get on her, stay on her, and if you can’t …

      Yeah I’ll stop there. 🙂

      • ScottG
        August 17, 2012 at 11:25 pm #

        Yep, that was it. It could work though, with regional variations.

  11. August 17, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    Hmmm. The fact that we don’t have an official toast has always bothered me too. Out of the suggestions you mentioned it’s between “bacon” or “boobs” for me. Both are awesome and maybe combining them would be even better?

    I think I could see my group of friends using “boobs” as a toast over “bacon” though just because we would have to ensure we had bacon lying around for later if we used “bacon” haha.

    • August 17, 2012 at 12:34 pm #

      I find the idea of saying “bacon boobs” before drinking both alluring and appalling.

      But them again, I never liked that sexy food scene in 9 1/2 Weeks. Keep it in the crisper – food and sex don’t mix!

  12. tronto
    August 17, 2012 at 12:43 pm #

    you forgot nostrovia for us polocks!

  13. Brendan
    August 17, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

    BACON!

    Yeah, I kind of like that. It’s not going to hurt any bystanders, innocent or otherwise, and you never know – might get you a tasty sandwich.

    BOOBS! Pretty good – from what I can tell, everyone likes them – but you’d have to be really careful about where you were looking when you offered this toast. If it’s at the top-heavy trophy girlfriend of the roid-raging body builder then you’ll be yelling “911” soon, and that is not a good toast.

    These national finalists pretty much suck.

    What about the battle cry of “The Tick,” who yelled “SPOON!” before going out to fight evil?

  14. Diss Content
    August 17, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

    The fact that we don’t have a national toast is precisely what makes us Americans. The same way we don’t have a royal family (except for the Kardashians), national language or religion. We have always been an ad hoc sort of group which many foreigners find utterly baffling.

    Take heart in knowing, every time we raise a 12 ounce can or pint glass, we non-verbally toast our Americanism by being the last bastion on Earth, still using ounces and pints as a weight and measure. Yeah, we’re that cool.

  15. August 19, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

    I dunno, “Up yers” sounds pretty good to me–kind of a Dubbel entendre ;^)

    • August 20, 2012 at 2:27 pm #

      What, no come-back Jim?

      • August 20, 2012 at 2:52 pm #

        Sorry – kinda swamped with non-beer-related stuff today (which is the WORST kinda stuff!).

        Also, “Up yers” is a great toast for his-and-her enema’s as well.

        • August 20, 2012 at 3:05 pm #

          I like it–particularly appropriate for old farts like me.

  16. BeerBear
    August 20, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

    There are many suggestions beginning with “B”, which led me to the positive sound of “bitchin'”.

    Then I slipped to a very positive notification of excitement: “Cowabunga”. Unabashedly American and rolls easily off the lips to an extreme degree of intoxification.

    Cowabunga!!!!!

  17. September 22, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

    I usually say, “Prost.” Or “Skol” if there’s a Vikings game on.

  18. tallfellapgh
    November 21, 2012 at 8:48 pm #

    Yada, yada, yada!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. A Toast! | The Lexicans - August 20, 2012

    […] reasons that should be immediately… if not sooner… apparent.  So… I was reading this post this weekend and put my suggestion in the comments, for what that’s worth, and it ain’t […]

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