There’s a time and a place for everything, and tipping a few back is no exception. For instance, you don’t want to show up half in the bag for a meeting with your boss, but you might require a couple of glasses of liquid courage before you approach that cutie at the end of the bar. And sometimes you’re better off getting plowed before you take your white man’s overbite onto the dance floor (for everybody’s sake).
So without further delay, here are 10 things you do better sober, with a buzz and totally smashed. Enjoy!
Click to enlarge
I’d like to thank our pal John over at the Movie blog TDYLF for inspiring me to use venn diagram for this one – thanks, John!
Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Awesome! That is all.
Thanks Adam!
I love that the guy in the picture has split his pants! Epic!
I thought he added a certain air of class to the post…
AWESOME! Okay if I post this on facebook with a link back to this post?
Go for it!
That guy rocks!
Yup. All he needs to do is put that tie around his head. Samurai!
So, we are to assume that all the things under “Drunk” are things we think we can do. Correct?
Not in all cases – sometimes confidence and/or a being a bit numb are the keys to real world success. Listening to your wife complain, or dancing with inhibition, or amazing feats of strength, vomiting like a champ, etc., are things that people might actually do better if they’re in the bag.
“Better” might not be the right word. Take vomiting, for instance. If I’m vomiting due to a stomach bug, I’ll likely make it to the toilet and neatly dispose of whatever was ailing me. Conversely, a drunken vomit session almost always ends up on you, your friends, something upholstered, or all of the above.
Yes, but you do it with gusto and seldom remember just how much it hurt!
Or you remember it all too well.
Maybe you should do a continuum for certain activities. Darts comes to mind. Sober, I am a terrible darts player. Buzzed, I am a world-beater. However, once I’m drunk, you better look out. And I’m talking about the people standing directly behind me or in the parking lot.
That’s a fun idea for another info graphic – how you perform at certain things sober, buzzed and drunk.
Dancing, darts, video games, talking to women, dealing with authority figures, it all changes along the spectrum!
I just finished up a new infographic for tomorrow based the continuum idea. I think it’s really cool – thanks for the input, Zac. I threw you a link in the post, as is our tradition when other people do the thinking for us…
I’m waiting for my name on the masthead, but a link will do.
Were you thinking something like “Beer and Whiskey Brothers and the Women’s Issues Guy”?
Or a Bear, his Brother and a Liberal?
Maybe. How about “Building International Coalitions Through Beer and Pavement and these two other guys?”
That brings up a question in my mind Zac, what is the pavement about?
Really? You’re THAT old?!!
Never heard of Pavement?! Really?
Hey I just listened to the link Zac posted, and if that is the best they have, I’m not missing much!
How about “Two Dicks and a Dork.” We can figure out who’s who later…
Stop making fun of my PENIS!
Also: http://www.gq.com/entertainment/music/201003/pavement-indie and http://www.allmusic.com/album/terror-twilight-r421917/review
Don, follow this link and notice who makes all the lists.
What do I care what a bunch of people with bad taste are listening to? 😉
Who’s your favorite band, Don?
RUSH! followed closely by Metallica, then my tastes get a lot more varied from there.
What about the voice of Geddy Lee? How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?
Yes he does. Speak like an ordinary guy that is. Just sings in a falsetto.
Then you’re not my fact-checking cuz.
http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/77729/
great post…i second the buzzed darts.
Thanks – the other “spectrum post is totally happening – look for it tomorrow!
I see this as a to-do list for the weekend. All of it.
Make sure to bring bail money! 🙂
Metallica is like the Budweiser of rock ‘n roll. No, that’s too harsh. They’re the Bud Select.
Whenever you are in the lead, you always get shot at. They’re good.
Whatever. They’re the “man” and you know it.
I would add pool next to darts, etc. under “buzzed.” Nothing like a dart or cue straightener when your sucking. I would also add golf under “buzzed” for me, I can’t drive for shit without at least one beer in me, anymore than three and then it’s all over the course and I look like Ted Knight in Caddyshack. 🙂
I second that, after a beer or two I can make some truly awesome calls at the pool table. Over the years I’ve also found that I’m self conscious about speaking or singing in public. A wee bit of the creature always seemed to stiffen my backbone.