Infographic: 10 Things You Do Better Sober, Buzzed and Drunk

There’s a time and a place for everything, and tipping a few back is no exception.  For instance, you don’t want to show up half in the bag for a meeting with your boss, but you might require a couple of glasses of liquid courage before you approach that cutie at the end of the bar.  And sometimes you’re better off getting plowed before you take your white man’s overbite onto the dance floor (for everybody’s sake).

So without further delay, here are 10 things you do better sober, with a buzz and totally smashed.  Enjoy!

Click to enlarge

I’d like to thank our pal John over at the Movie blog TDYLF for inspiring me to use venn diagram for this one – thanks, John!

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Categories: infographics, Lifestyle


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43 Comments on “Infographic: 10 Things You Do Better Sober, Buzzed and Drunk”

  1. October 20, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    Awesome! That is all.

    • October 20, 2011 at 11:46 am #

      Thanks Adam!

  2. Don
    October 20, 2011 at 11:25 am #

    I love that the guy in the picture has split his pants! Epic!

    • October 20, 2011 at 11:47 am #

      I thought he added a certain air of class to the post…

  3. October 20, 2011 at 11:31 am #

    AWESOME! Okay if I post this on facebook with a link back to this post?

    • October 20, 2011 at 11:46 am #

      Go for it!

  4. October 20, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    That guy rocks!

    • October 20, 2011 at 11:47 am #

      Yup. All he needs to do is put that tie around his head. Samurai!

  5. October 20, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    So, we are to assume that all the things under “Drunk” are things we think we can do. Correct?

    • October 20, 2011 at 12:03 pm #

      Not in all cases – sometimes confidence and/or a being a bit numb are the keys to real world success. Listening to your wife complain, or dancing with inhibition, or amazing feats of strength, vomiting like a champ, etc., are things that people might actually do better if they’re in the bag.

      • October 20, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

        “Better” might not be the right word. Take vomiting, for instance. If I’m vomiting due to a stomach bug, I’ll likely make it to the toilet and neatly dispose of whatever was ailing me. Conversely, a drunken vomit session almost always ends up on you, your friends, something upholstered, or all of the above.

        • October 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

          Yes, but you do it with gusto and seldom remember just how much it hurt!

        • October 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

          Or you remember it all too well.

  6. October 20, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

    Maybe you should do a continuum for certain activities. Darts comes to mind. Sober, I am a terrible darts player. Buzzed, I am a world-beater. However, once I’m drunk, you better look out. And I’m talking about the people standing directly behind me or in the parking lot.

    • October 20, 2011 at 12:25 pm #

      That’s a fun idea for another info graphic – how you perform at certain things sober, buzzed and drunk.

      Dancing, darts, video games, talking to women, dealing with authority figures, it all changes along the spectrum!

    • October 20, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

      I just finished up a new infographic for tomorrow based the continuum idea. I think it’s really cool – thanks for the input, Zac. I threw you a link in the post, as is our tradition when other people do the thinking for us…

      • October 20, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

        I’m waiting for my name on the masthead, but a link will do.

        • October 20, 2011 at 3:45 pm #

          Were you thinking something like “Beer and Whiskey Brothers and the Women’s Issues Guy”?

          Or a Bear, his Brother and a Liberal?

        • October 20, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

          Maybe. How about “Building International Coalitions Through Beer and Pavement and these two other guys?”

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

          That brings up a question in my mind Zac, what is the pavement about?

        • October 20, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

          Really? You’re THAT old?!!

          Never heard of Pavement?! Really?

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

          Hey I just listened to the link Zac posted, and if that is the best they have, I’m not missing much!

        • October 20, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

          How about “Two Dicks and a Dork.” We can figure out who’s who later…

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

          Stop making fun of my PENIS!

        • October 20, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

        • October 20, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

          Don, follow this link and notice who makes all the lists.

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 5:28 pm #

          What do I care what a bunch of people with bad taste are listening to? 😉

        • October 20, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

          Who’s your favorite band, Don?

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

          RUSH! followed closely by Metallica, then my tastes get a lot more varied from there.

        • October 20, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

          What about the voice of Geddy Lee? How did it get so high? I wonder if he speaks like an ordinary guy?

        • Don
          October 20, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

          Yes he does. Speak like an ordinary guy that is. Just sings in a falsetto.

        • October 20, 2011 at 6:03 pm #

          Then you’re not my fact-checking cuz.

  7. John King
    October 20, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    great post…i second the buzzed darts.

    • October 20, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

      Thanks – the other “spectrum post is totally happening – look for it tomorrow!

  8. October 20, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

    I see this as a to-do list for the weekend. All of it.

    • October 20, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

      Make sure to bring bail money! 🙂

  9. October 20, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

    Metallica is like the Budweiser of rock ‘n roll. No, that’s too harsh. They’re the Bud Select.

    • Don
      October 20, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

      Whenever you are in the lead, you always get shot at. They’re good.

  10. October 20, 2011 at 7:51 pm #

    I would add pool next to darts, etc. under “buzzed.” Nothing like a dart or cue straightener when your sucking. I would also add golf under “buzzed” for me, I can’t drive for shit without at least one beer in me, anymore than three and then it’s all over the course and I look like Ted Knight in Caddyshack. 🙂

    • October 20, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

      I second that, after a beer or two I can make some truly awesome calls at the pool table. Over the years I’ve also found that I’m self conscious about speaking or singing in public. A wee bit of the creature always seemed to stiffen my backbone.


  1. Study Shows a Couple of Beers Makes Men Less Moronic | Beer & Whiskey Brothers Blog - April 16, 2012

    […] flow without all of that “thinking” getting in the way.  I’m sure you could add playing darts and flirting to this list as […]

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