Would You Drink A Beer with Sperm on the Label?

I just came across the label for Smuttynose Homunculus, a Belgian-style golden ale that’s part of their Big Beer Series.  While this looks like another tasty brew from Smutty, the label gives me major cause for pause.

Now before you call me a homophobe (to which I’d reply “is that some kind of record player?”), keep in mind that I’m the Liberal brother, so I’m not allowed to have such thoughts.  Instead, my mind went right to the gross-out.  I thought, “Eww! If it’s on the label, it’s usually in the beer.”  I know this doesn’t hold true for Dead Guys or gargoyles, but fluids might be a different story. 

I’d probably pass this one over at the shelf because my subconscious says the beer might be impregnated with more than yeast, even if logic says this obviously isn’t the case.  If I Liberaled-up and decided I shouldn’t be such a “Don” about it, I hope Homunculus ages well, because I don’t think I’d ever crack it open.  At least not until the label fell off.  I know it might be silly, but for better or worse labels play a role in decision making, especially when you have so many choices on the shelf.

I wish they would’ve just kept calling it by its old name, “The Gnome.”  I wonder if the gnome lovers at La Chouffe went all Bell’s on them and made them change it.

Anyway, how about you?  Do you like the label?  If not, could you get past it and just enjoy the beer?



UPDATE: Archie Doyle over on Facebook suggested that Smutty do a promotional tie in with the Shake Weight.  He even provided a link (gotta love South Park’s gross out humor!).




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45 Comments on “Would You Drink A Beer with Sperm on the Label?”

  1. johnking82
    May 11, 2011 at 8:07 am #

    Let me first say, Smuttynose is one of my favorite breweries and I absolutely love Portsmouth, NH. I love a good majority of there beers. I saw this a few weeks ago and just said “really?”. Pretty dumb if you ask me. Will I drink it? Nope, I don’t like Belgian Golden Ales.

    • May 11, 2011 at 8:57 am #

      I keep saying I don’t like Belgian stuff and keep buying the damn things anyway. it’s some kind of character flaw.

  2. Rob Crozier
    May 11, 2011 at 8:14 am #

    I agree that the label is a bit off-putting but it won’t stop me from buying a bottle or two – I’ll just make sure the label is facing away when I store it and pour it. I’m sure the Smuttynose people were trying to be clever and funny but i’ll bet that they’ll hear some negative feedback and change the label next year.

    • May 11, 2011 at 8:58 am #

      I’m curious if they change it If it gets a lot of buzz and therefore sells well, I’m sure it’ll become a “thing” and they’ll keep it. If it sits on the shelf I’m sure they’ll change it up.

  3. May 11, 2011 at 8:20 am #

    I like the label. It’s clever and I really don’t make the connection that there could be actual spunk in the beer. There could be all sorts of other horrifying things that fall in the mash tuns of our favorite breweries that we never even know about. It’s better to not dwell on that.

    That said, there are some other Smuttynose beers that I would try before this one. I can’t get their stuff out here. But I wouldn’t turn this down if offered.

    • May 11, 2011 at 8:59 am #

      I wouldn’t turn it down if offered either, but I’m not sure I’d reach for it on the shelf, especially when surrounded by lots of other choices.

      • johnking82
        May 11, 2011 at 9:20 am #

        don’t be so “salty” about the beer.

        I’m here all night folks…try the veal!

        • May 11, 2011 at 9:22 am #

          This must have oysters in it, because it tastes like the ocean…

    • May 11, 2011 at 9:25 am #

      Alex, try Morgan’s or Argonaut, it’s hit or miss, but I’ve occasionally seen it carried in those stores.

      As far as trying the beer, I probably would, even though I’m not big on Belgians, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to buy some. I had a few of their beers the last time I was in New Hampshire/Maine (nearly ten years ago, granted) and I found it a mixed bag, some good, some so-so. We’re going to be up in that area again this fall, so if I can swing it, maybe I’ll stop in. If I had it in a bottle, I’m with Rob in that I’d probably turn the bottle around while drinking, not so much that I think there’s jizz in it, but because it’s fairly unappetizing.

      • May 11, 2011 at 9:41 am #

        Was just looking at their site and never made the connection that Portsmouth Brewery and Smuttynose are related. Had a horrible experience at Portsmouth, the food was tepid and the beer watery; I put it down as just a bad day for the brew pub. I’ll definitely have to stop in again this fall to reevaluate. 🙂

        • May 11, 2011 at 9:47 am #

          I like Smutty’s stuff in general. Even their ordinary offerings are well balanced, flavorful and a little unique.

          And I just realized I now have to try this beer because after talking about it so much I’m curious to know what it tastes like. perhaps they know what they’re doing after all.

        • johnking82
          May 11, 2011 at 9:52 am #

          I’ve been to both Portsmouth Brewery and Smuttynose during different times of the year. I had the oysters at Portsmouth and they weren’t too bad…they were worse going up later that night. I drink a majority of my beers out of my Portsmouth glass. The beers were OK, just nothing I thought was amazingly stellar. They did have a pretty solid IPA I got in a bomber…but I can’t recall what it was.

      • May 11, 2011 at 9:50 am #

        Thanks for the tip, Will! I live very close to Morgan’s, but usually go to Little’s for all my beer needs. I’m also up for any excuse to go to Argonaut; that place is awesome.

        • May 11, 2011 at 10:16 am #

          I know what you mean, I’m very close to Argonaut, but frequently go to Joy over on Sixth & Marion which is just as close.

  4. May 11, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    I would drink it before I drank Vas Deferens Ale from Caldera Brewing….. for sure!!!!

    • May 11, 2011 at 9:21 am #

      Had to look that one up, Ben, but after doing so I agree 100%. WTF?!

    • May 11, 2011 at 9:54 am #

      Now THAT is a disturbing label! I’ll second the “WTF?”

  5. May 11, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    It’s gross. I’m a commie-pinko-gay-loving feminist and I think it’s gross. Gross knows no political allegiance.

    • May 11, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

      Well that seals it. If you think it’s gross, it’s gross!!

    • May 11, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

      Yeah, I agree with all of that. I’m pretty far left and I don’t think that has anything to do with it. The last thing I want to be thinking about when I’m drinking beer is bodily fluids of any sort.

      Well, maybe saliva, but only my own.

      • May 11, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

        I like to think of blood when I drink beers, John.

        Unicorn blood.


        • Don
          May 11, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

          Ahh, yes, and I Unicorn Tears while I drink my Whiskey…Nectar of …well…unicorns. How about that Jim we could be the Unicorn Blood and Tears Brothers. 😉

        • May 11, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

          Nah, we’d get too many trolls on that site – literally!

      • Don
        May 11, 2011 at 3:09 pm #

        We’ll scratch Chi Cha off the list of possibilities for you John. Good to know.

        • May 11, 2011 at 3:17 pm #

          Is that the chewed corn beer from Brew Masters?

        • Don
          May 11, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

          Yup. Chewed up corn in the mash.

  6. May 11, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    I could get past it. Smutty is a VERY dependable brewer, so I trust them.

    Also, why not just think about this while you drink it…

    Or this…

    Have a beer and have a laugh. That’s my advice. 🙂

    • May 11, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

      I could see a great viral video about this. A guy getting himself drunk enough to approach, crack open and consume the beer. I think the ladies would find it hilarious.

      • May 11, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

        Do it! Do it! Do it!

        • The Wookie
          May 11, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

          Pay no attention to G-lo he will drink anything …. He’s the Mikey of alcohol.

        • May 11, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

          The Wookie is right. I’ll drink just about anything. But that doesn’t mean I’ll like it or say good things about it.

  7. May 11, 2011 at 2:50 pm #

    I like Smutty beers, but Belgian Golden Ales aren’t my thing right now, so I’ll probably pass. Funny, I thought they were spoons on the label. Should have stayed awake in bio class I guess.

    • May 11, 2011 at 3:08 pm #

      Did you also think spoons got girls pregnant, Scott? Or only turkey basters?

      • May 13, 2011 at 12:50 am #

        I thought storks brought babies! What do spoons and turkey basters have to do with storks and beer?

  8. The Wookie
    May 11, 2011 at 3:21 pm #

    I asked a few of the wives in our neighborhood what they thought about the label and they said that, after a few Appletinis, they would taste it but wouldn’t swallow it …. sounds about right.

  9. May 12, 2011 at 10:51 am #

    I’m about as liberal as it gets about most things, but until I saw someone make the Monty Python connection I was thinking, “No way. That’s just creepy!” Now, I’m thinking, it’s a great beer to drink on cult-film night…Who’s with me for a Python marathon?

    • May 12, 2011 at 11:03 am #

      Might be an interesting theme night indeed.

    • The Wookie
      May 12, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

      I’m in for some Python. Beer and Spam?

      • May 13, 2011 at 8:12 am #

        And a giant tennis-playing blancmange for dessert!

        • May 13, 2011 at 8:34 am #

          Scotch Ale and Blancmange pairing? Anyone? Anyone?


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