Happy St. Patty’s Day: Beware of Amateurs!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! As a beer geek I have struggled to find meaning in the holiday this year, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to hit your favorite pub and have a great time.  As you do I’d like to remind you that St. Patrick’s Day is also called Amateur Night, and for good reason – it’s the day that knuckleheads everywhere drink too much and spoil other peoples’ fun.

And the knuckleheaditry is worse than ever this year, according to Reuters.  In Hoboken, NJ, 35 people were arrested and 2 sexual assaults were reported during their annual parade earlier this month.  296 summonses were issued for public urination and open containers, and drunken thugs dumped beer and a planter on firefighters responding to a blaze.  A crowd also broke into a local business that was closed and trashed the place, urinating as they went. Stay classy, New Jersey! 

Hang in there - you'll make it!!

It’s so bad, that officials in Hoboken are considering moving next year’s parade to a weekday in order to cut down on the number of out-of-towners who attend. Similar scenes played out in Albany and Newport, Rhode Island, and officials in those cities are also devising tactics to curb bad behavior at next year’s parades.

Surprisingly, one thing that might be behind the unruly crowds is Twitter. Newport Police Lieutenant William Fitzgerald told Reuters, “It’s the first time we heard of people coming to the parade because of Twitter.”  Fitzgerald went on to say that Newport Police are working on a strategy to use the Internet to keep things under control next year – we’ll see how that goes.

I can only guess what’s happening today in New York City (the granddaddy of all St. Pat’s parades), but I expect more of the same, just on a larger scale.  I’ll see first hand this evening, as I’m headed into town to take my son to a Knicks game.   I expect the train back home to full of puke-stained amateurs, trying to make it back to the burbs.  My nine-year-old son is excited about this, because as he says “I’ve never seen a drunk person.” I didn’t contradict him.  🙂

Facial scruff? Check. Earring that was cool in 1993? Check. Drinking green beer from a pitcher? Check. Amateur Status Confirmed!!

Whatever your plans are for this evening, make sure you take the knucklehead factor into account.  I know we’re all pros around here, but you have to look out for the other guy.  Be sure to stay away from people under the age of 25 wearing green (I’ve posted a pic to illustrate who I’m talking about), and if you’re on the road, make sure to leave a little extra distance between you and the other cars.  Part of the amateur menace is their willingness to get behind the wheel after drinking too much green beer.

With all that in mind, enjoy yourself and have a safe, happy and fun St. Patty’s Day!

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Categories: Beer, Lifestyle, Scotch Whisky, Whiskey


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46 Comments on “Happy St. Patty’s Day: Beware of Amateurs!”

  1. March 17, 2011 at 10:42 am #

    I wish my office door had been closed when I burst out laughing at the shamrock-vomiter graphic.

    • March 17, 2011 at 10:44 am #

      Awesome, right? It’s a t-shirt design I “borrowed” for the post. Really tells a story!

      • March 17, 2011 at 11:16 am #

        Way back when I was first learning how to use Adobe Illustrator (and when I was learning how to make stupid looking simplistic stick figures), I created this piece to illustrate one particularly rough night that I’d had:

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 11:17 am #

          That Kills John! I love the fish skeleton on the bottom of the green!

        • March 17, 2011 at 11:26 am #

          Funny, my kids drew the same thing, but it said “daddy” at the top of the picture. 🙂

  2. March 17, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    My approach is very simple. I am not Irish, so I am not getting involved. I don’t need an excuse to drink stout, and already have plenty of Guinness FES and Wrasslers XXXX in the fridge, so a quiet night at home with a couple of beers watching Father Ted.

    • March 17, 2011 at 10:46 am #

      Sounds perfect. I usually stay home as well (and I AM Irish), but I scored a pair of really good Knicks tickets for tonight, so out I go with my boy. I figured the train will be safer than driving, especially coming home around midnight. It should be more entertaining as well. 🙂

  3. Mike
    March 17, 2011 at 10:57 am #

    Sly Fox is having their annual Trip to Ireland raffle. No green beer and no amateurs. Plus it’s a short ride home, or a longish walk if necessary.

    • March 17, 2011 at 11:05 am #

      Sounds like a good time. I wish I was in walking distance of more than just the fridge in my garage!

  4. March 17, 2011 at 11:03 am #

    This is why I never go out on St. Patty’s Day. I also tend to stay in on New Year’s Eve. It’s just not worth the hassle.

    • March 17, 2011 at 11:07 am #

      That’s how I feel about EVERYTHING these days, Zac. The mall on a Saturday night, rush hour traffic, opening night of a blockbuster movie – leave me alone people!! But it’s double when it comes to amateurs drinking too much – I’m way too old to be dealing with that kind of nonsense.

  5. Dave
    March 17, 2011 at 11:20 am #

    Jim, Chicago discontinued their legendary South Side Irish Parade after things got out of hand a couple of years ago. Now they just have the official downtown parade, but it happened earlier this week when nobody was paying attention. The green dye in the Chicago River is always fun, but I can do without the rest of it. Although I am wearing one of my father’s favorite buttons in honor of the day.

    It says “March the 17th, Sleep the 18th.” Simple but true.


    • March 17, 2011 at 11:26 am #

      My sister wore that button one year when I was a kid – I loved it and still remember it to this day. I recall it had two leprechauns on it, one carrying a wooden sign. Classic!

      • Dave
        March 17, 2011 at 11:39 am #

        Yes, that’s the one. Today I always think of my Dad’s favorite Irish joke, about the terrible accident at the Guiness brewery. Apparently poor Paddy Murphy drowned. The police told his wife he fell into a huge vat of fresh beer, and after a while he simply went under. But the most tragic part about it was that he got out three times to pee.

        (tumbleweed tumbleweed).

        I typed this with a bad Irish accent because it’s always funnier that way.

        • March 17, 2011 at 11:42 am #

          Good one, especially when read in an Irish brogue!

  6. kathryn
    March 17, 2011 at 11:27 am #

    With an office on 5th Avenue right next to where the marching bands warm up, I can report back that the NYC parade is in full swing…and the associated green wearing hordes..meaning I can’t even leave to get some lunch! Jim: Let’s hope Cupsaw St Pats party on Saturday is a little more civilized..

    • March 17, 2011 at 11:37 am #

      I used to dread St. Patty’s Day when I worked in the city. I remember having an appointment across the street from Trump Tower one year (totally forgetting about the parade) and being so angry at all the drunken lunatics who were stumbling around watching men in kilts play music from sheep stomachs! I’m sure St. Pat’s at the lake will be much better, just for the fact that I KNOW those drunks!

      Tread carefully as you make your way home, as I’m sure the sidewalk is splattered with many a pint of pre-consumed profits. 🙂

  7. March 17, 2011 at 11:32 am #

    What bugs me this year is that this would be a perfect night to go to a bar to watch the NCAA tournament (Go Mizzou!), but who knows what danger lurks out there tonight. I just want to sit and watch some hoops, not be harassed by that guy who’s like 2% Irish who’s taking full advantage of the holiday.

    /grumpy old man

    • March 17, 2011 at 11:38 am #

      I have a nice television and fridge full of beer – that does it for me.

      /grumpy old man with gadgets

  8. Dave SDC
    March 17, 2011 at 11:44 am #

    Jim, a couple of my buddies were in Hoboken for that fiasco, they said it had a totally different feel this year then in years past for whatever reason. A LOT of angry drunks out that night which is unusual. As with any Patty’s day celebration theres are always a couple of knuckleheads who ruin the party for everyone. But this year it was totally out of control. In my younger years I would have no doubt been there, but now that I am older (and wiser?) I just can’t handle the amateur-ish behavior.

    Be Careful tonight and Go Knicks!

    • March 17, 2011 at 11:49 am #

      I wonder if there’s something to the Twitter idea. Perhaps it boosts attendance, especially in the younger demo. More meatheads and amateurs = a spoiled event.

      I’ll be careful, but the train station is in the basement of the Garden, so it should be pretty easy to be safe.

      • Don
        March 17, 2011 at 11:54 am #

        Aren’t they the NY Knickerbockers? Isn’t that an Irish term? Beware green beer at the Garden!

        • March 17, 2011 at 11:56 am #

          I’m not sure you’ll see anything green at the Garden (ironic, no?) because of those damn Celtics!

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 11:58 am #

          Ahhh yes, the nemesis for all eastern division teams and the LA Lakers!

      • Don
        March 17, 2011 at 11:57 am #

        Nevermind. I just Wiki’d it. Its Dutch.

  9. March 17, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    This year was the first time my wife and I missed the Denver St. Patty’s Day parade this past weekend; we just weren’t up for it. The knuckleheadery has gotten way out of hand here with each new year. We decided to take in a new (for us) brew pub and spend a quiet afternoon tasting brews instead of hitting every Irish bar in LoDo like we normally do.

    Today will be even worse here in LoDo where I work; the annual Kegs & Eggs is in full stride and it’s just a matter of hours before the puke starts flowing in the gutters.

    • March 17, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

      I’m sure it’s getting worse, but as I get older, I lose my tolerance for knuckleheaditry altogether.

      • March 17, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

        I was pretty wild as a teen and twenty-something 25+ years ago, but I wasn’t that obnoxious was I? 😉

        • March 17, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

          I think I’d strangle my younger self. Stoopid kids!

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 12:39 pm #

          I’d strangle you now…just for fun! 🙂

        • March 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

          Well god know you strangled my younger self plenty of times!!

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

          Looking back…do you blame me?

        • March 17, 2011 at 12:58 pm #

          You were out of the house before I was 12, so yes, I blame you!

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

          You always were a whiner.

  10. March 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    I am going to see Flogging Molly tonight, and home soon after that… apparently people were checking in at pubs and micro-breweries at 6 am!!

    WTF?… I’ve never heard of pre-drinking in the morning on St. Patty’s day, but apparently people are planning to be drunker than ever this year… hmmm

    • March 17, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

      I’ve been in NYC during the parade, and folks are falling over by 10am. As they say, “the early bird gets the summons.”

    • Don
      March 17, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

      In all seriousness, I think that people are going a bit crazy this year, because well…things are a bit crazy out there. The economy sucks, Japan is melting, people are buying up Potassium Iodide in droves like there is some sort of magic pill that will keep them safe from nuclear harm, The middle east is a hot mess, gas prices are beginning to soar as are food prices, and don’t get me started on healthcare costs! I think there is just too much steam to blow off, like reactor number three, and people are starting to melt down. I think this is a reflection of the times. Where’s the Bourbon….

      • March 17, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

        I think social networking is having an impact. Folks are tweeting about this stuff, posting on Facebook and whatever, and others (typically younger people) are getting inspired to show up at these events. More “amateurs” = more rowdy.

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 1:20 pm #

          I would agree, however, I would also say I’m correct as well. People are looking for a venue to get smashed and act stoopid. I don’t think that happens as much when people are in general happy with how their life is.

        • March 17, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

          Another way to put it is St. Patrick’s Day is Halloween for drunks!

        • Don
          March 17, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

          Is that what they mean by Beer Candy?

  11. Alex
    March 17, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    Ha ha, stupid amateurs! [shaves scruff, covers tribal tattoo, and removes 90s earring]


  1. shamrock brewing company « brew trek - March 17, 2011

    […] On the walk home, weaving through the throngs of party-goers in LoDo for St. Patty’s Day, it came to me to do an entry on an Irish pub we’ve visited a few times in Pueblo; Shamrock Brewing Company. Briefly the thought of doing a post on how ridiculous the holiday has become among the younger crowd flitted through my mind. But I will definitely cede that to those who’ve blogged far better than I like Jim over at Beer and Whiskey Brothers. […]

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