It’s not a fun visit to a water park until somebody breaks a toe. Judging by the purple digit on my left foot, my family and I had a blast at Great Wolf Lodge.
There’s not a lot you can do for a broken toe, except tape it to its neighbor and wait for nature to take its course. To help things along, its best to keep the foot elevated, which means sitting around. And if I’m sitting around, I might as well enjoy a beer. But which beer goes best with a broken toe? Here are some candidates off the top of my head:
- What better way to accessorize a purple toe than with an Abita Purple Haze raspberry wheat beer? Well there’s gotta be at least one, because I don’t really go for wheat beers, and with an ABV of 4.2%, I don’t think this fruity treat will offer much relief.
- I can’t get any Firestone Walker where I live, but what about a Founder’s Devil Dancer Triple IPA to mock my gimpy foot? I could enjoy the irony as I sipped on the 12% ABV powerhouse. After a couple of these, I’d probably be ready to cut a rug.
- How about a Heavy Seas Peg Leg Imperial Stout? At 8% ABV, this roasty Russian will have my pegged leg tingling.
- Of course, I could take advantage of my gangsta limp and go right for a 40 of Four-O malt liquor. I could limp through my (neighbor)hood kicking out the left leg and drinking out of a paper bag.
That’s all I got. Do you have any suggestions? As always, let us know below.
Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
OK Jim, first of all, that is the ugliest and most disturbing picture you have ever posted! Second of all, I think this calls for ten fidy. It is the roasty malty treat perfect for toe healing, and it gives you the right to do the gangsta walk and the like. Yup Ten Fidy and a faux jewel encrusted cane…you’re stylin’ my Brotha 😉
I agree the beer toes are a bit disturbing (hence their charm) but not as off-putting as that shirtless picture of Carrot Top you used the other day. It still creeps me out!
Yes, but I can at least say I got it off the internet, and we all know that is a disturbing place. You have taken it to another level by showing your own naked foot! Feet are creepy to begin with, and the beer toes are truly disturbing.
How do you know that’s my foot?
First of all it is big and nasty with those fibrous things sticking out of it you call hair. Secondly it is bruised, and you said for us to look at the bruising, so who’s foot would it be? I know it isn’t Caryn’s.
Way to go Sherlock – you cracked the case!
My recommendation would be Steel Toe Stout by SKA brewing!
Now you tell me!!
Injuries require a quick anesthetic. A George Stagg or a WLW is required in this case. I once spained an ankle at a party (uneven ground right underneath the beer garden door) and after Makers (sorry Don) and MGD (medical purposes only) I managed to walk the three blocks back to the car with nary a limp. And uhhh… No more feet please. Leaves a bad taste which is contrary to the whole blog thing you have going here.
I think after a little Stagg I would probably wind up injuring myself worse, even if I had fun doing it.
Yeah, that’s some impressive foot hair. Good to know if you are ever caught in a burning building that you could braid that stuff and shimmy down the building. 🙂
The worst is when I tie my shoes only to realize I’m not wearing any and my feet are tethered together by my toe hair.
Know how I found this thread? Did a search for broken toe and beer because I broke my 2nd toe yesterday trying to make my first batch of homebrew.
Auspicious start?
I guess the answer is that homebrew is the best beer for BREAKING a toe – you’ve proved that!