What Beer Pairs Best with a Broken Toe?

It’s not a fun visit to a water park until somebody breaks a toe. Judging by the purple digit on my left foot, my family and I had a blast at Great Wolf Lodge.

There’s not a lot you can do for a broken toe, except tape it to its neighbor and wait for nature to take its course. To help things along, its best to keep the foot elevated, which means sitting around. And if I’m sitting around, I might as well enjoy a beer. But which beer goes best with a broken toe?  Here are some candidates off the top of my head:

  • What better way to accessorize a purple toe than with an Abita Purple Haze raspberry wheat beer? Well there’s gotta be at least one, because I don’t really go for wheat beers, and with an ABV of 4.2%, I don’t think this fruity treat will offer much relief.
  • I can’t get any Firestone Walker where I live, but what about a Founder’s Devil Dancer Triple IPA to mock my gimpy foot?  I could enjoy the irony as I sipped on the 12% ABV powerhouse.  After a couple of these, I’d probably be ready to cut a rug.
  • Of course, I could take advantage of my gangsta limp and go right for a 40 of Four-O malt liquor.  I could limp through my (neighbor)hood kicking out the left leg and drinking out of a paper bag.

That’s all I got.  Do you have any suggestions?  As always, let us know below.



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Categories: Beer, Lifestyle


Craft beer nerd, frequent beer blogger and occasional home brewer.

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15 Comments on “What Beer Pairs Best with a Broken Toe?”

  1. Don
    November 17, 2010 at 2:14 pm #

    OK Jim, first of all, that is the ugliest and most disturbing picture you have ever posted! Second of all, I think this calls for ten fidy. It is the roasty malty treat perfect for toe healing, and it gives you the right to do the gangsta walk and the like. Yup Ten Fidy and a faux jewel encrusted cane…you’re stylin’ my Brotha 😉

    • November 17, 2010 at 2:22 pm #

      I agree the beer toes are a bit disturbing (hence their charm) but not as off-putting as that shirtless picture of Carrot Top you used the other day. It still creeps me out!

      • Don
        November 17, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

        Yes, but I can at least say I got it off the internet, and we all know that is a disturbing place. You have taken it to another level by showing your own naked foot! Feet are creepy to begin with, and the beer toes are truly disturbing.

        • November 17, 2010 at 2:25 pm #

          How do you know that’s my foot?

        • Don
          November 17, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

          First of all it is big and nasty with those fibrous things sticking out of it you call hair. Secondly it is bruised, and you said for us to look at the bruising, so who’s foot would it be? I know it isn’t Caryn’s.

        • November 17, 2010 at 2:32 pm #

          Way to go Sherlock – you cracked the case!

  2. David
    November 17, 2010 at 5:23 pm #

    My recommendation would be Steel Toe Stout by SKA brewing!

    • November 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm #

      Now you tell me!!

  3. November 18, 2010 at 12:47 pm #

    Injuries require a quick anesthetic. A George Stagg or a WLW is required in this case. I once spained an ankle at a party (uneven ground right underneath the beer garden door) and after Makers (sorry Don) and MGD (medical purposes only) I managed to walk the three blocks back to the car with nary a limp. And uhhh… No more feet please. Leaves a bad taste which is contrary to the whole blog thing you have going here.

    • November 18, 2010 at 1:39 pm #

      I think after a little Stagg I would probably wind up injuring myself worse, even if I had fun doing it.

  4. Brandon
    November 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm #

    Yeah, that’s some impressive foot hair. Good to know if you are ever caught in a burning building that you could braid that stuff and shimmy down the building. 🙂

    • November 18, 2010 at 8:13 pm #

      The worst is when I tie my shoes only to realize I’m not wearing any and my feet are tethered together by my toe hair.

  5. Dave
    September 9, 2011 at 8:20 pm #

    Know how I found this thread? Did a search for broken toe and beer because I broke my 2nd toe yesterday trying to make my first batch of homebrew.

    Auspicious start?

    • September 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm #

      I guess the answer is that homebrew is the best beer for BREAKING a toe – you’ve proved that!


  1. I’d Kill for a Beer* « Beer & Whiskey Brothers Blog - December 10, 2010

    […] you might recall, I broke my toe a few weeks ago, which kept me from working out for a few days.  No big deal, right?  Well just about when my toe […]

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