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I Had to Drink a Fizzy Yellow Beer

It finally happened.  I had heard of it happening to others, but I thought it would never happen to me…but it did.  There was no other way to prove I fit in.  I had to drink a fizzy yellow beer…and it was…Awful!

Let me tell you how I got to this lowly state.  My 18 year old son has the bright idea he wants to get married this summer.  Save the lecture he has heard it all from me and his mother and there is no talking him out of it he will be getting married August 14th, 3 months shy of his 19th birthday.  Well when you put on a production like this there are a lot of choices that need to be made.  What are the colors, what do the invitations look like, how do you decorate, and probably most importantly where do you have it!  Well being the father of the groom I have very little input into this decision, and the decision basically rests with the parents of the bride.  This is where things get interesting and not in a good way…See the father of the Bride’s Step-Dad is a past president and Trustee of the Nampa, Idaho Fraternal Order of Eagles.  So cool, they can get married and have their reception at the Eagle’s hall, and because her step-dad’s Father is in the club they can rent the hall for a steal of a price.  Cool, I get it.  Works for me.

What doesn’t fit me at all however is the alcoholic beverage selection.  See as the Father of the Groom I am in charge of paying for and arranging the alcohol.  Well here is where the problem lies.  The Eagles hall has certain things they will buy and if they don’t normally buy it you can’t get it, and they will not allow anything to be brought in from the outside.

My choices for tap beer are Bud and Bud Light.  That’s it.  Beer in bottles is Bud/Miller/Coors products.  Bleak!  For liquor it is all well drinks.  They don’t even have Wild Turkey 101 which is my go to whiskey in times of trouble!  So there you have it, the alcohol for the wedding will stink and I can’t change it!

So how did I end up having to drink a fizzy yellow beer?  Here is the rest of the story.  We were wrapping up our tour of the venue, checks were written and we were about to leave when the mother of the bride asked “do you want to have a beer before we go?”

Well see they have always thought that we were kinda …well…snooty.  So if I said no that would perpetuate that image, and if I said yes, I knew what my choices were.  So I took one for the team and in the interest of family harmony I said “Sure…ahh…We’d love to.  Staring down the barrel of that gun I chose a Miller Genuine Draft.  Not that it would matter.

They did have Corona which would have been better with a lime than the Miller, but I was afraid of what the Step Dad would think about a guy that would drink a fruity beer.  So I got this lagery, skunky, way overly carbonated fizzy yellow thing and proceeded to drink every last drop if it.  I hope that I didn’t have too bad of a look of disgust on my face as I drank the piss water but it was truly BAD!  Seriously I don’t know how people can drink this stuff.  As we chatted and got to know each other All I could think about was how horrible this beer truly was.  Funny thing is this used to be my “Good Beer” I would buy when I had company coming over.  I want to take this time to apologize to anyone I ever served MGD to.  You didn’t deserve that.  I’m sorry.

-Don

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22 Comments on “I Had to Drink a Fizzy Yellow Beer”

  1. Clyde
    July 16, 2010 at 12:06 pm #

    It appears you need a new bike jersey!

    http://stonecompanystore.com/store/go/enlarged/1696/

    • Don
      July 16, 2010 at 12:12 pm #

      Nice! Do they come in 5X?

  2. July 16, 2010 at 12:08 pm #

    For your punishment you are banished to Brewforia for the whole day where you will be forced to drink one of everything on tap and take home as many craft beers as your arms can hold.

    Good of you to man up and take one for wedded bliss, Don. I feel for you. And I’m quite convinced I do not possess your strength.

    And thank god for flasks!

    • Don
      July 16, 2010 at 12:11 pm #

      Ooohhh Chad! FLASKS! You’re a Genius! My day is saved! I also will be thanking God for cigars too. As the bar portion of the eagles club allows smoking! I’m bringing my Humidor and we will have a selection!

  3. July 16, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

    At least you went with some (that used to be) from Milwaukee. If you’re gonna go fizzy-yellow, at least you supported the homeland.

    Besides, think of all the $$ you’ll be saving on cheap hooch. It’d be terrible if you spent to get good stuff in there, and then everyone drank Bud Light and Jack Daniels anyway (which is probably what will happen).

    Oh crap, I just realized I’m going to this wedding. +1 for flasks!!

    • Don
      July 16, 2010 at 1:16 pm #

      A flask will be a must. I wish I would be saving $$ but their prices are not that great. We’ll see how it goes, but we could easily spend more on the liquor than they do on the entire wedding! 😦

    • July 16, 2010 at 1:26 pm #

      When are you flying in, Jim? You know, the Boise BeerFest is the weekend before the wedding.

      • July 16, 2010 at 1:30 pm #

        Still figuring that out Chad. I’m in Milwaukee the week before the wedding visiting our parents. I might shepherd them to Boise from their place the day before the nuptials. So it looks like I’ll miss the beer fest, but I’d love to meet you and check out Brewforia and maybe the co-op.

      • July 16, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

        Excellent. Just get me the details and we’ll try to work something out.

  4. July 16, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

    Sometimes it just pays to be gracious and drink what you did. Not to say that you can’t complain…but when in Rome.

    • Don
      July 16, 2010 at 1:54 pm #

      I could have had a diet coke, but my wife did that and I thought it might be a little awkward with them both drinking beer and us both drinking pop. So I took one for the team. Wish I didn’t have to, but I felt compelled.

  5. July 16, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    Don, you must do penance like the BeerPoet said.

  6. Steve
    July 16, 2010 at 3:29 pm #

    Great article! I’m in a fraternity at the University of Washington and just got into drinking craft beers after two long years of Keystone Light, Coors Light, and the occasional Budweiser. Needless to say, I can’t go back! Just bought some bombers of Ninkasi Total Domination. What are your thoughts on that beer?

    • July 16, 2010 at 3:39 pm #

      I’ve never had anything from Ninkasi, Steve, so i can’t say. But it sounds like you’re headed in the right direction beer-wise. It’s good to see higher education working!

      • Kevin M
        July 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm #

        Jim, Ninkasi Believer is a solid beer. Unfortunately, it’s the only one I’ve had from them. Sure beat the Rogues my brother brought back from Oregon last year! Score one for my little brother, the wino!

      • Kevin M
        July 16, 2010 at 5:17 pm #

        Oh, and yes, FILL THOSE FLASKS WITH BOURBON!

        • Don
          July 16, 2010 at 5:52 pm #

          You can count on that Kevin. Any suggestions from the bounty you have before you in NJ? Do you have or can you get Noah’s Mill?

      • Kevin M
        July 17, 2010 at 3:17 pm #

        Don, there is still some Noah’s Mill here. But, really soon, the Eagle Rare single barrel is going to arrive here. We tasted several barrels and picked one. I’ll hook Jim up when it arrives. Hopefully, you’ll think I’m more than just a beer guy! HAHAHA!

        • Don
          July 17, 2010 at 5:10 pm #

          Hook Jim up! we just finished our first podcast and it was a lot of fun. but I’m pretty fried. I always overndulge when it is wild turkey! great stuff we has Kentucky spirit. wonderful whiskey. You should set aside a bottle of the noahs mill for me. can you ship to Idaho?

      • Kevin M
        July 17, 2010 at 6:38 pm #

        We don’t ship from our store, but I could work out a “trade” hahaha…

        • Don
          July 18, 2010 at 2:26 pm #

          I don’t know what I would have to “trade” but I guess you can name your price. I’m pretty sure you can get just about everything I can. I could get some Lost Abbey stuff. It’s pretty good and fancy. (corked bottles and all). I think that doesn’t ship east.

    • Don
      July 16, 2010 at 5:50 pm #

      I’ve not had the Total Domination yet, but I had their Tricerahops and it was pretty good. Come back and let us know how you like the TD once you crack into it.

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