Click to Enlage (If you think your heart can take it, ladies!)
UPDATE: It turns out those “experts” we hired are the same people who came up with the idea for Bud Light Platinum – stoopid experts! So we’ve fired them and reset the site to its former glory. Sorry folks, there’ll be no Panty Hamsters here!
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You may notice the blog looks a little different today, and with good reason. We’ve recently contracted with a web market research group to help us maximize traffic to Beer and Whiskey Brothers, and changes are afoot.
Looking at our stats, these experts determined that the “lowest hanging fruit” was to cater to “Country Squire” and “Suburban Pioneer” female demographic groups, both of which are growing, are alcohol-interested, and who do not visit this site.
Step one is adding what the experts call IVC’s or Instant Visual Cues – what our Squires and Pioneers need to see immediately upon visiting the site to know it’s a “safe haven” for their “burgeoning acceptance of mild vice activities.” So gone is the barrel wood background and in are the butterflies and hearts.
Next up it’s the content of the site, which you may see changing in the coming days and weeks. First, we’ll have more coverage on mixed drinks, like Cosmos, the Raver Girl and maybe even the Panty Hamster (one Don seems to have a great interest, too, BTW).
Also, we’ll focus more on domestic issues, like how to properly mix and match glassware, how to throw a proper Television-themed cocktail party (Mad Man Manhattan’s, anyone?!), and what it really means when your boyfriend or husband keeps feeding you drinks (hint: it’s not because he understands what a stressful balancing act your busy life has become).
Don’t worry hardcore beer and whiskey lovers, we won’t abandon the drinks that got us here in the first place. But we may be taking them from a slightly different angle. In the past, Don has written about drinking whiskey with nothing more than a splash of water or an ice cube on board. Statistics show that our new female targets prefer sweet drinks, so look for tasty treats like the Amaretto Jack and the Cream of Turkey to be featured. Also, some women find craft beer to be much too calorie-packed, so we’ll shift focus a bit to lighter offerings – it’s amazing what some really well known brewers are doing with just 64 calories!! I’m sure you’re as excited as we are to explore the possibilities.
In the end, we expect the numbers to rise, which is really the whole point of doing ANYTHING on the Internet, right?
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Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Ugh!!! Well, now that you’ve offended all of your readership….
But not our NEW readership, Wayne – it’s all about what’s “next” according to our market research web gurus!
This must mean that the beers you review from now on must all contain fruit and are low ABV. Right?
I see SOMEONE understand what we’re going for here…
No berries, no blog post!
One big improvement: the new layout cuts of half of your face in the sidebar, but preserves Donnybear. Well done, market researchers!
I didn’t agree with that one, I’ll be honest, but they insisted. Something about “Pioneers” and “Bears.”
Sometimes I don’t understand all this marketing stuff. 😦
Finally, Don & Jim can let their true passions (Single malt fruit drinks ?) out for all to see. And digest. And run away from ? But I thought the good folks at Pepto Bismol had that color trademarked ?!?
We can use that color, as long as every post has “Fab” or “AbFab” or “Faboo” in it somewhere.
I just realized I forgot it above – now the lawyers are gonna get involved!!
Ummm…you should have posted this yesterday.
Well, Chad, the researchers say women don’t like change on the weekends, they prefer what’s called a “workday change differential,” especially at the beginning of the month, making today the PERFECT day to flip the switch on our softer side.
April fools. [Notice the intentional lack of an apostrophe.]
Yeah, bad grammar, Zac!
Don’s been hitting the gym. SWEET! Now you just need a craft brew curl pic!
I dunno, John, we’ve recently learned that some of those craft beers contain MANY empty calories, a no-no if Don’s gonna stay buff!
Made me laugh…..love April 1st….
I don’t get it, Bob…
While I am not opposed to seeing a man so scantily-clad on a Monday morning, I kinda like that your site is unapologetic about its subject matter. It’s given me a lot of insight into my guy friends (who know a hell of a lot more about beer than I do). And you’ve inspired me to try a lot of new drinks- endearing me to aforementioned guy friends. So thanks.
Stay true to your first loves! I love your blog and wouldn’t change a darn thing, and I’m of the very girly variety.
So keep it like it was, but include lots of Beefcake Don – got it! 🙂
Jim, we’re losing readers now. Put it back!
But we’re gaining SO MANY more, Don!
I’m now curious whether or not the Panty Hamster is a real drink but there’s no way in hell I’m googling that.
The Panty Hamster IS a real drink, John! (I was brave enough to google it.) It has Jager, melon and raspberry liquers, and cranberry juice. Not sure if I’m brave enough to drink that, though…at least not brave enough to order it from a bartender.
April Fools? All this pink is making me what to do something manly ahhh!
Like drink a Panty Hamster?
Better a Panty Hamster than a Boxer Gerbil.
Comment of the Year right there!
I’m trying to un-see this, but I don’t have enough beer here. In the entire town, I mean.
Maybe switch to bourbon, or better yet, a Cream of Turkey!
I hope there was a screenshot taken.
I’ll change it back if you want me too… 😉