Off Topic: Kim Karsashian Thinks You’re a Drunken Idiot, America

I’ll admit that I have a guilty pleasure – snarky pop culture blogs like WWTDD and The Superficial.  I’m not sure why Tom Cruise gay rumors or the downward spiral of Lindsay Lohan capture my attention, but I like to think it’s because I’m a vapid American who prefers to fill his head with junk food instead of veggies. 😉

At any rate, this business with Kim Kardashian’s “marriage” and now “divorce” is making me nuts, because she’s so clearly playing us foolish pop-culture followers for the…er…fools…we are. 

My angst regarding Mrs. Humphries Ms. Kardashian came to a full boil last night.   The power was out by me for a couple of days, and when it came back on, the cable box rebooted to channel 2 as I scurried around playing with thermostats and turning on lights around the house.  When I returned to the family room, there was news of Kim Kardashian’s “divorce” on one of those shiny Hollywood tabloid shows.  I couldn’t believe the brazen PR leg hump that was gleefully playing itself out in front of my eyes.

It’s the timing that blows my mind.  I know publicity whores like Kim get married, divorced and even have babies to get their faces in the press, but I’ve never seen the cycle play out so quickly.  Kardashian’s “wedding” was held live on E! 72 days ago and garnered the highest ratings that network has ever had.  Her face was on all the magazine covers and she was the undisputed queen of the celebutards.  It was clear at the time (at least to me) that this was a sham wedding, custom-made for tabloid attention.  Mission accomplished.

Then the spotlight started to fade, so it looks like Team Kim quickly shifted into the next phase of their plan: the “divorce.”  Last night’s coverage breathlessly talked about the papers being filed, the signs of problems in the marriage (all nicely captured on Kim’s reality show, naturally), questions of whether the timing will help or hurt the release of Kris Jenner’s (Kim’s mom) latest tell-all book (it’ll help, of course) and many other painful little details.

Kim back when she was truly whoring for attention. At least that was honest!

One thing that wasn’t brought up was whether or not this whole thing is a scam.  Of course it is!! Kim is playing America (and the rest of the gossip-loving world) for a bunch of morons, and the morons are gobbling this crap up!  This is a girl who rose to fame on a D-list rapper’s penis, so I certainly wouldn’t put a manufactured marriage/divorce past her.  I’d be surprised if she doesn’t announce she’s pregnant in the next two months with *shocker* her now ex-husband’s baby!  That should make for some good press…too bad it sucks for the prop – I mean the kid – she’ll have to incubate to make it happen.

Of course the entertainment shows won’t bring up how faked and forced all of this seems because it doesn’t fit with their agenda. They are making hay with the marriage, the divorce and whatever comes next (I wasn’t kidding about the baby – just wait and see).  Kim is making their job easy, and the tabloids like it when the story writes itself.

It pisses me off that our culture can elevate this sex-tape siren to a household name and then allow her to bombard our fattened American minds with the details of this synthetic drama.  I mean marveling at Seal and Heidi Klum’s Halloween costumes is one thing, but being subjected to the horsecrap is another.

What does all this have to do with beer and whiskey you ask? Nothing.  But it certainly makes me want a drink!




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Categories: Off Topic


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35 Comments on “Off Topic: Kim Karsashian Thinks You’re a Drunken Idiot, America”

  1. johnking82
    November 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm #

    I thought this might be the only website I could turn to which didn’t mention the divorce. I stand corrected.

    • November 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

      Oops. I guess it is everywhere, huh?

    • November 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

      BTW, I think I more than made up for it with the Klum/Seal Halloween costume link – those two are nuts!!

  2. Don
    November 1, 2011 at 1:48 pm #

    You’re a girl!

    • November 1, 2011 at 1:50 pm #

      OMG! I’m like so totally not!!

      • Don
        November 1, 2011 at 1:52 pm #

        What are you doin’? What the HELL are you doin’? You’re trashing up the site with this dreck. I think we should rename the site beer and whiskey Brother, and his emo 17 year old sister.

        • November 1, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

          Haha!!! That’s awesome! 🙂

        • November 1, 2011 at 1:57 pm #

          BTW, I see that your post today is much more on-topic. Oh wait, you HAVEN’T posted today!

        • johnking82
          November 1, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

          quote of the year candidate.

        • Don
          November 1, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

          Hey Jim, I actually posted something about BEER…remember BEER?

        • November 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm #

          Posted, or cut and pasted? 🙂

        • Don
          November 1, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

          It counts as a post! 😛

        • November 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

          Yup. Looks like we’ll be hitting 1000 this week – yikes!

        • Don
          November 1, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

          You gonna put up 17 posts between now and Friday?

        • November 1, 2011 at 4:06 pm #

          It’ll be close!

  3. Michael
    November 1, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    Who is Kim Karsashian?

    • Don
      November 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

      some whore Jim knows.

    • November 1, 2011 at 1:53 pm #

      She’s a very talented and special person who deserves every ounce of attention she gets.

      Or the opposite of that.

      • johnking82
        November 1, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

        if you’ve seen the video, you know it was more than an ounce.

        • November 1, 2011 at 2:26 pm #


    • November 1, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

      I asked my wife a similar question the other day, only mine was ‘Who is Kim Kardashian?’

      Once she told me I had a hard time believing that this person was awarded even a paragraph, much less a major spread (no pun intended) in the newspaper.

      In old-timey parlance, “She ain’t worth the powder to blow her up!” and she sure as hell ain’t worth a posting on B&WB.

      • November 1, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

        Great. I’ve been scolded…


        • Don
          November 1, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

          HaHa! Told ya so, dummy.

        • November 1, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

          Fart in church, that’s how this one’s going over…

  4. November 1, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

    Kim who?

    • November 1, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

      I’m starting to realize that this was a bad idea. Even hating on her seems to be too much…

  5. ScottG
    November 1, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Does this mean that TMZ is writing about craft beer or whisky? I’m so confused.

    • November 1, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

      Nope, this means that my off-topic post totally blew up in my face!

      • Don
        November 1, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

        Jim, you’re scaring the readers. That would be a bad thing to do…

        • ScottG
          November 1, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

          It takes more than a Kardashian to frighten me. But without this post, I wouldn’t have the “emo 17 year old sister” comment which I’m still laughing about. So we’ll call it a draw and a valuable lesson in knowing your target audience.

        • November 1, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

          OMG, you’re totally like crushing my spirit with your like negativity about my post!

          Hey – I kinda enjoy writing as emo-girl Jim! But the panties definitely ride up. 😦

  6. Brendan Hickey
    November 1, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

    Times like this call for Bud Light, or maybe Milwaukee’s Worst.

    • November 1, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

      Or a fat can of FAIL…

  7. November 2, 2011 at 7:39 am #

    you guys! way to get some female readers! good job!

    My commentary on this was:

    Out of all the Kardashians … who picked Khloe to be the most stable in a relationship? For crying out loud, Lamar Odom is a spokesman for Life Insurance Awareness Month!

    Also, due to the bad dye jobs, I firmly believe that Bruce Jenner would look like Tony LaRussa if he didn’t have all that plastic surgery.

    • November 2, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

      That’s right – this one’s for the ladies!

      And I agree – who knew the Wookie would be the role model of the group?!

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