Okay I’ll admit it – I’m a beer snob! I won’t preach at folks or judge them for drinking whatever they like, but I have high standards about what I drink. I’m also a car snob and sometimes can’t fathom why folks would spend good money on a boring appliance when they can be driving something more elegant, or fun or quirky.
But this post isn’t what I’m snotty about, it’s about things I let slide – the things I’m NOT a snob about. Here are five off the top of my head:
Cheese – I love cheese. Like roll-your-eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head-when-you-taste-it love. But at the same time, I think nothing beats a grilled cheese sandwich made with Kraft singles. Now the Fancy Cheese Elite may take issue with this, but I don’t care – I like what I like, and sometimes I like cheap cheese. I also think Triscuits are the world’s greatest cracker, so you can hold that against me as well if you like.
Vodka – It’s all good! From the cheapest bottle of Smirnoff to the Gray Goose and beyond, I can find something to like in every glass. Sure, some are funkier than others, but I don’t care. It’s only vodka, a beverage whose quality is measured by how it DOESN’T taste!
Household Appliances – The cheaper the better, that’s my motto. I was amazed when I found out that people actually get enthusiastic about dishwashers, washing machines and vacuum cleaners. Who the hell cares? Does it work? Did it not mangle my shirts or start an electrical fire? No? Perfect! I had a conversation (reluctantly) the other day with a woman at work about how she was agonizing over which washer-dryer set to buy to replace her older (but still functioning) washer-dryer set. WTF?! Doesn’t she know she should be spending that dough on personal electronics?!
Lawn Equipment – This could be a subset of the Household Appliances, but as a guy I’m supposed to care about this stuff (insert Tim Allen tool-grunts here), so I figured it should stand on its own. Here’s the deal – I love good lawn equipment, but I’m cheap. I’ll spend $25 on a 22 0unces of beer, but I’ll keep an old push mower going until its blade spins off into a tree or the thing sets itself ablaze. Then I’ll replace it with another crappy mower and repeat the process. I have a backpack blower and a gas-powered line trimmer as well, and while I appreciate that both seem study and work well, I couldn’t tell you what brand they are (one is orange and the other is green – I think).
Licorice – There is such a thing as a licorice snob? Of course there is – you can be a snob about anything! If this seems weird to you, it means you probably haven’t had the Dutch kind. They take their licorice seriously over there, offering an infinite variety of the stuff, most of it is sweet and salty and a bit challenging to eat, but once you make the adjustment you’ll be hooked. The stuff is like crack. My 40th birthday is a week or so away, and the only thing I know for sure is that I’m going to treat myself to a fat bag of Drop (that’s what they call it the Land of Wooden Shoes). But even though I’m a fan of top-grade imported funky licorice, I still LOVE to go to the movie theater and scarf down a huge bag of Strawberry Twizzlers or grab a sack of those honeycombed black nubs you find at convenience stores. From the fanciest to the lowliest, I’m a licorice omnivore!
So those are five things that some people can get all prickly about that I approach with a loosey-goosey attitude. I guess you can only worry about so much stuff in your life, and beyond beer and cars and gadgets, I mostly can’t be bothered.
So what about you? What are the things you let slide and what’s the obscure stuff do you take waaaay too seriously? As always, let us know below!