Beyond Beer: Five Things I’m NOT a Snob About

Okay I’ll admit it – I’m a beer snob!  I won’t preach at folks or judge them for drinking whatever they like, but I have high standards about what I drink.  I’m also a car snob and sometimes can’t fathom why folks would spend good money on a boring appliance when they can be driving something more elegant, or fun or quirky.

But this post isn’t what I’m snotty about, it’s about things I let slide – the things I’m NOT a snob about.  Here are five off the top of my head: 

Cheese – I love cheese.  Like roll-your-eyes-in-the-back-of-your-head-when-you-taste-it love.  But at the same time, I think nothing beats a grilled cheese sandwich made with Kraft singles.  Now the Fancy Cheese Elite may take issue with this, but I don’t care – I like what I like, and sometimes I like cheap cheese.  I also think Triscuits are the world’s greatest cracker, so you can hold that against me as well if you like.

Vodka – It’s all good!  From the cheapest bottle of Smirnoff to the Gray Goose and beyond, I can find something to like in every glass.  Sure, some are funkier than others, but I don’t care.  It’s only vodka, a beverage whose quality is measured by how it DOESN’T taste!

Household Appliances – The cheaper the better, that’s my motto.  I was amazed when I found out that people actually get enthusiastic about dishwashers, washing machines and vacuum cleaners. Who the hell cares?  Does it work?  Did it not mangle my shirts or start an electrical fire?  No?  Perfect!  I had a conversation (reluctantly) the other day with a woman at work about how she was agonizing over which washer-dryer set to buy to replace her older (but still functioning) washer-dryer set.  WTF?!  Doesn’t she know she should be spending that dough on personal electronics?!

Lawn Equipment – This could be a subset of the Household Appliances, but as a guy I’m supposed to care about this stuff (insert Tim Allen tool-grunts here), so I figured it should stand on its own.  Here’s the deal – I love good lawn equipment, but I’m cheap.  I’ll spend $25 on a 22 0unces of beer, but I’ll keep an old push mower going until its blade spins off into a tree or the thing sets itself ablaze.  Then I’ll replace it with another crappy mower and repeat the process.  I have a backpack blower and a gas-powered line trimmer as well, and while I appreciate that both seem study and work well, I couldn’t tell you what brand they are (one is orange and the other is green – I think).

Licorice – There is such a thing as a licorice snob? Of course there is – you can be a snob about anything!  If this seems weird to you, it means you probably haven’t had the Dutch kind.  They take their licorice seriously over there, offering an infinite variety of the stuff, most of it is sweet and salty and a bit challenging to eat, but once you make the adjustment you’ll be hooked.  The stuff is like crack.  My 40th birthday is a week or so away, and the only thing I know for sure is that I’m going to treat myself to a fat bag of Drop (that’s what they call it the Land of Wooden Shoes).  But even though I’m a fan of top-grade imported funky licorice, I still LOVE to go to the movie theater and scarf down a huge bag of Strawberry Twizzlers or grab a sack of those honeycombed black nubs you find at convenience stores.  From the fanciest to the lowliest, I’m a licorice omnivore!

So those are five things that some people can get all prickly about that I approach with a loosey-goosey attitude.  I guess you can only worry about so much stuff in your life, and beyond beer and cars and gadgets, I mostly can’t be bothered.

So what about you?  What are the things you let slide and what’s the obscure stuff do you take waaaay too seriously? As always, let us know below!




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174 Comments on “Beyond Beer: Five Things I’m NOT a Snob About”

  1. July 13, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    Yeah, I guess I’m just a snob then….

    • July 13, 2011 at 1:28 pm #

      I’ve made peace with the fact that I am when it comes to beer. I won’t bother people with it, but I certainly have my standards. Bathroom decor, not so much, beer – definitely!

  2. July 13, 2011 at 1:29 pm #

    Re: Cheese – it can’t be the CHEAP singles on that grilled cheese sandwich. I have to maintain some standards, even if they are pretty low.

    • July 13, 2011 at 1:35 pm #

      Does Kraft count as “cheap” or are they they gold standard (of crap cheese)?

      • July 13, 2011 at 1:37 pm #

        Absolutely the gold standard. Some store brands even qualify but then it’s the sub-store brands – you know, the ones that won’t melt no matter what you do?

        • July 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

          Those might be kitchen tiles, Matt. 🙂

        • Jennie
          July 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

          Not kitchen tiles, those would melt eventually. You want cheese that won’t melt? Government cheese. My mom’s neighbor gave her some because he couldn’t use all of it, and she could NOT get it to melt no matter how thinly she sliced it (yes, unsliced American cheese!). I live in Wisconsin, so we have good cheese pretty much anywhere you go.

        • July 21, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

          Not only good cheese, but New Glarus beer!!!

          I’m visiting our folks in Milwaukee in a couple of weeks and can’t wait to eat like I’m gonna die of a heart attack at 48!

  3. July 13, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    Sadly, I can’t afford the cars I lust for, so appliance it is. Thankfully, my 2005 Accord is an excellent appliance with a bit of fun factor built in. Cars I want: Audi A4, BMW 5 series, Acura TL-SH AWD, Infiniti G37, Volkswagon GTI, and a few others.

    Since I buy as little as possible for myself (beyond food and drink of course), I tend to be a bit snobby about just about everything (I’m the worst person to shop for!). The way I see it, if I’m going to buy something, I’d prefer to buy something of quality and use it to the fullest. Nothing worse than having to buy something twice because you decided to pinch a few pennies on that first purchase. Here’s my list of snob items (things I don’t buy very often, but when I do, I’ll spend a little more and get what I want):

    1. Shoes – cause good ones make your feet feel good.
    2. Bicycles – cause WalMart and Target bikes are not easily maintained or repaired. Plus, they have crap components and are too heavy.
    3. Audio equipment – B&Ws, Yamaha, Denon, and other great stuff all the way! Had my Dahlquists for over 10 years before I replaced them with my B&W satellites.
    4. Cookware – I’ve had the same kitchen knives and appliances for over 10 years. Plan to have them for many many more.
    5. Personal Electronics – It has to work and do what it’s supposed to do with minimal tinkering from me. Can you say Apple? 🙂

    • July 13, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

      I have a BMW 318ti and I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun with a car. I hadn’t thought of it as an appliance. 🙂 Totally agree with you on shoes – they HAVE to be good ones. And my PC – I custom build mine (OK, I’m lazy, I have it done) but then I spend time messing with it here and there. The only thing I ever really go shopping for is beer. I used to buy nothing but the best clothes, and then I realized I hate shopping for clothes so I take the path of least resistance. And I still expect them to last a few years lol

      • July 13, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

        I can’t shop for clothes – I’m too tall! My inseam is 36″ and my shirts are Large Tall which means there’s nothing for me at most of the mainstream stores. Luckily GAP and co. sell 36″ stuff and Large Tall stuff online. Otherwise I’d look like I was perpetually waiting for a flood!

    • July 13, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      I agree on buying right and buying once, but I’m always looking for a good bargain, too. So instead of a Samsung TV, I’ll pick up an LG which is less expensive but almost as nice – you can only ever tell a difference if they’re side-by-side, so I figure I’ll keep my TV away from the fancier offerings!

      On the car front, I’m in the market for a new one, and the VW CC is the leader in the clubhouse, as it offers the Germanic goodness and style of some other Teutonic toys, but it’s far more affordable.

      Of course when it comes to beer I don’t look at prices – I just get what I want! 😉

    • July 14, 2011 at 1:55 pm #

      I’m with you G-LO on buying for quality, it only takes a couple of times buying the cheapest you can, having it break, and then having to buy a new one. I do my research and then buy top of the line whenever I can afford it. Good shoes are more than comfortable, they last much longer and can be easily resoled (just ask your cobbler); it has to be Italian or Spanish for me to even look at them.

      • Don
        July 14, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

        I like my shoes made in asia by 10 year olds, the way God intended it to be…

        • July 15, 2011 at 8:41 am #

          And I bet you see a Witch Doctor to take care of your bunions and callouses. Err… I mean Podiatrist. 😉

        • Don
          July 15, 2011 at 9:42 am #

          a bunion? Is that what you put a hot dog in?

  4. johnking82
    July 13, 2011 at 1:59 pm #

    Licorice? Is this the 1950’s? Go visit the malt shop.

    As for appliances, as someone whose father repairs and sells them for a living and my wife is in charge of the dishwasher line at GE…top notch here baby…of course we get a REAL nice discount.

    I love triscuits as well, especially the sundried tomato kind.
    I’m a snob about bourbon.
    I’m a snob about shoes as well.

    • July 13, 2011 at 2:08 pm #

      Dutch licorice will blow your mind, dude!!!!

      • July 14, 2011 at 11:12 am #

        Love licorice. Not a snob about it. But I do appreciate the good stuff. Coworker just came back from Europe. Brought back all sorts of black licorice, from super sweet to ridiculously salty. We did a licorice tasting!

        • July 14, 2011 at 11:16 am #

          I guess it’s a copywriter thing… 🙂

      • July 15, 2011 at 8:49 am #

        My people are INSANE about licorice! Next time you’re in Eataly, see if they carry candies by either Leone or Amarelli Rossano (they make a chocolate covered licorice candy that is AMAZING!). Great stuff!

        Now I need to try this Dutch licorice that you speak of.

  5. Rick
    July 13, 2011 at 2:18 pm #

    I’m not a Subaru snob, but my Legacy in a snow storm is about as much fun as I can have illegally.

    • July 13, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

      I have a WRX wagon with snow tires – you don’t have to tell me!!

      • July 15, 2011 at 8:50 am #

        You can fit into a WRX? Are they as much fun as they look?

        • Don
          July 15, 2011 at 9:45 am #

          Jim can fit in it fine, but you should see me try to fit in the damn thing! Talk about your sardine cans!

  6. FatCatKC
    July 13, 2011 at 2:33 pm #

    You are admitting you are a beer snob? Wow you’re brave! Don’t frequent the BA forums or you’ll get disembowled in three seconds if you show ill will towards pee water. If you can tell I have fun with those “Advocates” on that site. I wish I had enough money to be a car snob but I guess I can’t complain with my Jeep. It too is loads of fun in the snow.

    • July 13, 2011 at 2:37 pm #

      Well if you have clear opinions about beer and would rather drink water than Budweiser, I think you can’t avoid the fact that you’re a snob. I’m not a douche (I don’t preach or sneer), but I do have certain standards when it comes to beer.

  7. July 13, 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    I lived in India for a while, next to slums and garbage. Most things are just that; “things”, they don’t mean much. However, I also had my fair share of Indian beer. The horror!

    I’m a beer snob, and I embrace it. When I returned to the States it took me 20min to pick out bread. Another 20min for cheese. Paralysis of choice struck me. But beer….it took me 20min to fill my trunk with bottles!

    • July 13, 2011 at 3:58 pm #

      Makes sense that beer shopping took less time. Bread and cheese are kind of “this one or that one” purchases, where beer is “this one AND that one”!

  8. NicM
    July 13, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

    I love my old school push mower too! No gas or electrity, very few parts so there’s less to go wrong, and the only maintenance is blade sharpening. I’m also with G-Lo in that I don’t buy a lot of “things” so when I do I want a quality product that will last and I’m willing to pay a bit more for it.

    • July 13, 2011 at 4:00 pm #

      My mower is a gas one, so it’ll die eventually. But my last one had motorized wheels which were only really good at tearing up the grass if I left them engaged while pulling the mower backwards (which I seemed to do often). I liked it better after that “feature” broke, so I saved a few bucks on the next one I bought and eschewed the motorized variety.

      • Don
        July 13, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

        When is your boy going to learn how to mow the lawn? Never too early to start him on the road to manhood! That said, this year I bought a new mower, a new weed whacker, and a super-d-duper weed whacker on wheels(I got 2 acres and some vicious weeds). Prior to this weed whacker I purchased two others from Lowes that kept breaking. Got this one from Ace and it works like a charm. The Mower, I went with a Toro. Never so glad to get a bit higher end machine. This one looks like it will work well, and last quite a bit longer than the previous four mowers I’ve had. That said, I’d rather be buying whiskey like I did today. A fifth each of Beam Devil’s cut and Knob Creek Single Barrel Reserve. Looking forward to both of them!

  9. July 14, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    Ahh, snobbery… Being a traveler more than a buyer (seriously, I’ll spend my money doing, not having, thank you!) I’m not incredibly gadgety or into cars, etc. However, I am definitely a beer snob. And a coffee snob- Folgers? WTF, that crap is nasty! Give me good, imported, peaberry beans and let me grind them myself, thanks! And I’m a cookware snob. Even though most of my life is in storage right now, I have an $800 set of professional quality, stainless steel pots and pans. Granted, I waited forever, saved my pennies, and then bought them at an after-Christmas sale for 30% off, but still…I love to cook, and you can’t do it right without good cookware.

    And then there’s the environmentalist in me, although I don’t consider that snobbery. I won’t buy soaps, cleaning products, etc. that aren’t biodegradable and phosphate free, nor will I buy eggs or dairy products that aren’t organic and/or free range… unless I’m somewhere where it’s impossible to do so. I’ll get whatever is available and be happy, then.

  10. July 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm #

    After commenting on G-LO’s comment, I realized what I really wanted to mention: there are beer snobs, and then there are douche beer snobs. The ones I’m talking about not only put up their nose at the big three, but also disdain craft breweries that don’t have “unique” brews. These are the people that think the pinnacle of craft beer is anything brewed in Belgium, and if a brewer doesn’t offer a wit, farmhouse, etc., then that brewery is somehow not noteworthy.

    I would classify myself as a limited beer snob; I would prefer to drink a good craft beer, but if none are available, I’ll drink whatever is there as long as it’s not Bud (and in that sense I’m a true snob).

    • Don
      July 14, 2011 at 2:57 pm #

      I’ll drink a Bud if its the only thing available, but I’m with you on all the rest.

  11. July 21, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    I’m also a beer snob in that all I drink is Guinness. 😉

    • July 21, 2011 at 10:12 am #

      It’s a start I guess 🙂

  12. July 21, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    I am not a cheese snob, either. Love it all!

    • July 21, 2011 at 10:12 am #

      I agree – even the spray stuff in the can!

      • Don
        July 21, 2011 at 10:15 am #

        I love that stuff! I rarely have it, but when I do I think Man…we can put a man on the noon, and we can make cheese spray out of a can! There is nothing that we can’t do!

        • knitwitted
          July 21, 2011 at 3:55 pm #

          The really kool dudes can spray cheese outta their nose.

        • July 21, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

          I know that Don can do that, but he’s not very kool… 😦

        • Don
          July 21, 2011 at 4:41 pm #

          Only when I’m around you Jim!

  13. Ryan
    July 21, 2011 at 9:57 am #

    I don’t have a comment on the article, but congrats on making the front page of WordPress!

    • July 21, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      Thanks, Ryan. As an aspiring beer writer I figured you’d have an opinion on beer snobs!

  14. July 21, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    Personally, I’ve never met a licorice snob … too funny! But I agree whole-heartedly about the cheese.


    • July 21, 2011 at 10:13 am #

      I take my licorice seriously, but I’m not a snob about it – I don’t discriminate when it comes to candy!

  15. July 21, 2011 at 10:21 am #

    totally with you on the cheese one. i love any sort of cheese! congrats on a funny article and being freshly pressed!!!

  16. July 21, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    After living in the States for a few years I was shocked at the yellow lumps you called ‘cheese’. When it comes to cheese snobbery us arrogant English have got that down with a wealth of cheeses to curl your toes. You should be made to rename all cheese in America simply as “Yellow”.

    I went to Peru to find the perfect potato – terrible potatoes! Can’t beat a good King Edward or a Jersey Royal (yes I’m a spud snob)

    • July 21, 2011 at 10:24 am #

      A first for me – a potato snob!


      • Don
        July 21, 2011 at 10:27 am #

        They’re all over Idaho!

  17. July 21, 2011 at 10:41 am #

    Hilarious. I am a snob about cheese, although I have my eating cheese, cooking cheese, taco cheese. Not a snob about cars. They depreciate too fast! I love your list. I’m such a snob about certain things and then the exact opposite about others. Great post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.

  18. July 21, 2011 at 10:44 am #

    Triscuit is the best cracker on the planet. I have been eating them since I was a kid. I am a snob about purses. And not because I crave designer items but I have had a Gucci purse for 10 years that still looks terrific, is a classic and will probably outlive me.

  19. fireandair
    July 21, 2011 at 10:47 am #

    I’m a snob about most everything, and nothing. For me, if I like it, it’s good — in that, I’m a snob. If it sucks, I’m not shy about saying it.

    The thing is, whether something advances my personal status among other tribal members doesn’t matter to me. I love an incredibly obscure type of Italian wine called Travicella. It’s my total fave wine ever, and incredibly hard to come by. I also like white zinfandel. I love Monteverdi and fairly obscure Baroque opera. And I love Journey and ELO. If it’s good, that’s all that matters. Whether it makes me look like a member of the Right Crowd doesn’t matter worth a hill of beans to me.

    But it had damned well better be good — in that, I’m a snob, and just as unforgiving of crappy pop-dance music as I am of crappy trendy atonal Tibetan folk rock. Snooty wines sometimes taste like shit, too. I’m just not the sort of snob who would rhapsodize over a bottle of Two Buck Chuck if you soaked the label off and told me it cost $500 and came from France. 🙂

  20. July 21, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    Produce and yogurt snob over here! I would like to think I’m not a beer snob, but I’m slowly turning in to one. Awesome post!

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:09 am #

      Thanks – I’d like to be a produce snob as well but I never get the chance – most of it blows where I live.

  21. July 21, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Freshly Pressed again… well done Bros! 🙂


    • July 21, 2011 at 11:09 am #

      Thanks G-LO. We’re double dippin’!

      • July 21, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

        Well deserved!

  22. July 21, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    Triscuits rock … especially with cheese!

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:10 am #

      ANY cheese! For me, having a box of Triscuits in the house when there’s cheese on hand is like letting an addict loose in a pharmacy. Try as I might, I’m unable to resist their siren song!

  23. July 21, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    No snob here. In the good ole days I was a Nordstrom snob. Now give my Ross, Marshalls, and TJ Max. I have found some great stuff in those stores. Also I swear by some store brand orange juices and other items over the big names. I truly believe that they are better.\

    Way to go on the Freshly Pressed!

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:11 am #

      Thanks, Lonnie. I’m not a snobby person in general, but I do get particular when it comes to beer!

  24. July 21, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    I’m in agreement with you on everything, except the licorice. I’d replace coffee on the snob list. With cars, I love my twenty year old rusty sedan. Sometimes it’ll go in reverse, other times, not. And, anybody can crash their shopping cart into it in the parking lot and give it car door dings at will. I don’t care, nor is further body damage noticeable at all.

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:13 am #

      You’re like my wife – cars are appliances to her and she’d rather not pay for them (like I don’t want to pay for washing machines). I could put coffee on the list. I’ll drik crap if that’s all that there is (I’m addicted, after all) but I usually drink the thick stuff, usually French Roast from BJ’s. I also love Peets and appreciate Starbucks when I brew it at home.

  25. B
    July 21, 2011 at 11:07 am #

    And cars are one of those things I just do not care about. Not even whether it’s got cupholders. That tends to be waved over with ‘well, you’re a GIRL’ which irritates me to no end. Now, RC cars? I’m just starting to get into them, thanks to my dad, and THOSE I care about. Still not the cupholders though.

    I’ll never understand people who actually care what their clothes/hair/makeup look like, especially over comfort, or those who would sacrifice deliciousness for diets, but I am a huge book snob sometimes. If you like Stephenie Meyer but sneer at George Orwell? We’re not friends. My true snobbiness shows within my opinions of each book, though. And children’s toys. ‘You bought THESE bubbles? Pfft, mine smell like banana jelly beans.’ (They really do!!)

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:14 am #

      I think it’s cool that we can all be into different things, but mostly it’s about keeping life in balance and everything in perspective.

  26. July 21, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    I had some ‘Spunk’ Licorice once. It wasn’t right.

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:14 am #

      Are you sure that was licorice? 🙂

  27. July 21, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    I’m not a snob about any liquor. If it gets me there, I’m drinking it and I’ll be happy with it. I am a snob about the following:
    1. Licorice – Twizzlers only. No Red Vines, no nameless bags.
    2. Cheese – Kraft or nothing on cheese slices. If it’s the good stuff, it doesn’t matter.
    3. Cereal – Sorry, they DON’T taste the same.
    4. Cheap meals – I can’t do TV dinners.

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:24 am #

      Looks like you know what you like!

  28. July 21, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    love this!!! i’m a huge fan of not only beer and cheese and vodka, but also all 3 in the same sitting. i don’t know much about lawn care or appliances…i rent, and avoid houses. i’m a condo girl. but i trust you. i avoid snobbery with chips, cool people, and lava lamps as well. can’t go wrong with doritos, good conversation, and a lava lamp.

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:37 am #

      Lava lamp and Doritos and good conversation…hmm…reminds me of college. All you need is a tie-die thrown over the TV!

      • Don
        July 21, 2011 at 11:38 am #

        What like a TV Cozy?

  29. July 21, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    I’m with you on the cheese 🙂

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:36 am #

      It’s ALL good!

  30. July 21, 2011 at 11:48 am #

    Great Post – Thanks for sharing. Made me chuckle a bit too:) I am a wine snob and like a good tasting beer. I am a big believer in getting a bargain when it comes to clothing and shoes – not paying full price. I am not one of those extreme couponers, but like to save at the grocery store and use a warehouse club membership to get discounts on gas – it is expensive to buy groceries and gas on the West Coast. Every penny counts lately. Congrats on being FP!

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:55 am #

      Micro luxury – spend big on a few little things you’re into and scrimp on stuff that’s not important. that’s the life of most beer geeks in a nutshell!

  31. July 21, 2011 at 11:53 am #

    If you ever watch the Food Network, you’ve probably seen “Chopped.” There was a great episode recently that featured fancy-dancy chefs being forced to cook with Easy Cheese. It was just so hilarious, and deeply satisfying on a totally cathartic level.

    • July 21, 2011 at 11:56 am #

      I love those “vending machine challenge” type deals on cooking shows. It’s always amazing to see how precious they can make some very lowbrow ingredients.

  32. changisme
    July 21, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    I think Kraft cheese does melt better for a grilled cheese sandwich though. Even a cheese snob need to admit that.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      Agreed – hard to beat it, even if it’s slightly evil.

  33. grimaud50
    July 21, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    I really enjoyed this post!

    I AM a snob about: coffee beans (for brewing – I’m too cheap to buy lattes) and toilet paper.

    I AM NOT a snob about: cheese (you already said it perfectly), clothes, the lawn, and cellphones.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      I used to be a toilet paper snob, but then I bought a house with a septic system. Now I don’t have the luxury of luxury tissue.

  34. July 21, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

    You guys are brothers, eh? Need a sister?

    1. Car snob – check. Covered that in my own recent blog post. No idea how people can drive something uninspiring when there are so many affordable options that are sure to make one tingly in the naughty bits.

    2. Cheese – check. Love cheese. Cheese on everything. Cheese of all varieties, yes please. My favorite is good old-fashioned sharp cheddar. It’s an intimate, passionate affair that I have with cheddar. I will say that Kraft singles are wretched and taste like flavored plastic, so I can’t get on board with that one.

    3. Vodka – check. I ADORE cheap vodka. Give me a plastic bottle of Burnett’s any day and I’ll show you a good time. Bonus? The only mixer I need is water. Wheeeeee!

    4. Household appliances – check. My house was built in ’86, I bought it in late ’09 and I’m still rocking the original appliances. Yes, they’re ugly and yes, part of the reason I’ve not replaced them is because I can’t afford to, but man, they’re like little domestic war tanks. My oven is a beast. My washer and dryer I probably WILL use until they spontaneously combust simply because I’m still in awe of the fact that the washer can run a load of clothes in 10 minutes and the dryer handles business even on “extra low heat” setting. I know people with much newer laundry appliances that don’t have that kind of time management.

    5. Lawn equipment – check. My push mower was purchased used off of craigslist and I have no plans on replacing it until it simply won’t start anymore. I don’t even own a string trimmer, albeit admittedly needing one. I keep pestering people to borrow one, so at least there’s that.

    Licorice I’m rather indifferent to, although I’ve had a wicked craving lately for one of those super-long red ropes. No idea where to find them though so I haven’t been able to satisfy that yearning just yet.

    Suffice it to say, I’ll be a regular reader now since you guys are clearly connoisseurs of the appropriate things in life. Thanks, Freshly Pressed, for the introduction!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

      Good to have you, especially because you agree with me!

  35. July 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm #

    hmm..I really don’t take anything seriously…..

    great post though!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

      Thanks Charly. It’s probably better to just go with the flow…

  36. July 21, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    ha, i lost it at the triscuit comment. great post!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      Triscuits rule!!

  37. July 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm #

    I think I might be a toilet paper snob, because some brands’ rolls just last longer. Also, regarding the appliances: if it’s an old appliance, it might not be as energy efficient, and thus is more expensive to operate than a newer appliance. That’s a good reason to be picky about what kind of appliances you buy.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      I recall Don telling me he’s a toilet paper snob…kinda TMI coming from him, but that’s just because I can visualize his enjoyment of it.. 😦

      • Don
        July 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

        I am not! I just don’t like the hard krinkley kind.

  38. July 21, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    You can’t be more wrong about vodka, sir.

    Plus, what is left to be snob about? I think you pretty much covered all that matters 🙂

    except for the lawn equipment – toss it and convert the lawn into garden, so you can grow delicious herbs to add to drinks and cheese platters!

  39. July 21, 2011 at 1:08 pm #

    It’s really just the attitude that matters. Some of us are just determined to be ponderous and pretentious about our preferences (how’s that for alliteration!) I enjoy learning more about a topic like beer from someone who simply loves it and wants to share his/her information. I don’t enjoy learning more from someone who is determined to prove his/her perspective is superior. Basically, I assume that anyone in the latter category is trying to overcome an inferiority complex.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

      Yes, life is too short for beer douches!

  40. July 21, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    I’m a snot about beer and coffee above all else. I’m also pretty choosy when it comes to the sushi I eat as well. Yeah, but that’s about it.

    I have tons of things I prefer, sure, but none of them are carved in stone the way those three items are. Maybe it’s because I was raised as a poor, cornfed Arkansas hick/Florida transplant that I don’t care about much else.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      I love good coffee (I take mine black) and agree about the sushi – bad sushi is a waste of time and usually a lot of money as well.

  41. July 21, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    Yeah, I agree that cheese for me can make me happy no matter what kind it is. Kraft is the gold standard for american cheese, I’ve gotten the off-brand stuff at a grocery store and it just isn’t the same.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:01 pm #

      I’m nuts for any sharp yellow cheddar made in New York. Not fancy, but very satisfying!

  42. July 21, 2011 at 1:39 pm #

    With appliances I think you should be more snobby. If you keep buying cheap ones that break all the time, you end up spending more money than you would have if you just bought the really good one to begin with. I registered for a Dyson vacuum, and I really hope someone gets it for me for my wedding because it’s an investment. It will hopefully last me all the years that need a vacuum… you know, until I can afford a live-in maid.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

      I agree that you should purchase them wisely, but I’ll take value over gee-whiz doodads any day. I’m a big researcher – I’ll google the dickens out of anything I buy over $50.

  43. July 21, 2011 at 2:14 pm #

    I’m a snob about 2 things and 2 things only. Beer being one of them. I might not know the names of all of them, but I can spot a crappy one when I see it! The other thing is shiney baubles. I don’t care what kind, but the shiney the better… and I’m not talking diamonds. Not a fan actually.

    Either way, love the article. Very entertaining! I approve 🙂

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:05 pm #

      Thanks, Pixie. You sound like a raccoon with very high standards. Only the finest shiny things for you!

  44. July 21, 2011 at 2:15 pm #

    I’m a Beer snob too! Actually, come to think of it, I’m also a food snob, whiskey snob, and a a water snob ( I don’t drink tap water…!)

    have you tried any of these (they are my favorite):

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:07 pm #

      Haven’t tried either, but I’d love to. I mostly (like 99%) drink American craft beers. Not a patriotic thing, it’s just what I prefer.

  45. afilmlover
    July 21, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

    I agree with you on all of these except Vodka. Until I tasted Hangar One Vodka, I wasn’t a vodka snob either. Now there is no going back . . .lol

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

      Ahh, perhaps I haven’t had my vodka epiphany yet. I thought beer was beer until my first Chimay, and now I’m super picky!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

      Hanger One!! Yes!

  46. July 21, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    Cheap cheese makes me sick!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:10 pm #

      Well until they make gourmet spray cheese, you’re not gonna be able to enjoy an fromage on the go (or directly from the can). I’m guessing this doesn’t bother you…

  47. July 21, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

    There is a time and a place for all cheeses. For Kraft that is most definitely between two slices of buttered, crispy Wonder Bread, and preferably late at night in my underpants after many craft beers.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

      I was with you there at the beginning, Alex… 🙂

    • knitwitted
      July 21, 2011 at 6:13 pm #


  48. anonnickus
    July 21, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    I like snobs. But not just any snobs. I like only the best. Anyone who thinks they are a snob but then stoops to acknowledge anyhting I have to say is not worth my time of day. Here I am reading your blog. You seem like a nice person with a hint of snobbish tendancy. If you are going to be a snob go all out. Kepp the good stuff to yourself. Now the cat is out of the bag re: the best grilled cheese ever. Great post.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

      You’re a snob about snobs!! Love it! 🙂

  49. July 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

    Great post, you deserve to be pressed.

    I refuse to drink lite beer. I like trying different beers from many locations, primarily U.S. I have a special place in my Texas heart for St. Arnold’s beer.

    I’ll have to think about the snob thing. I’ve pretty much been humbled into the dust lately, so no real room to be a snob. Except for facial tissues. Store brand could clean off an entire upper lip — I’m going with Kleenex or Scotties.

    Keep drinking & keep posting.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:16 pm #

      Thanks Your Highness. As you have demonstrated, you don’t need money to be snobby – you just need standards (and a sensitive nose).

  50. July 21, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    There are certain things that I am without a doubt snobby about: bacon, wine and tequila are some of the things that I believe should be good quality.

    I truly believe that a lot of things in life however, is about the time and place of the experience rather than the product. Fish and chips with great company is better than gourmet with terrible company.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

      Agree that good company beats good food. But good beer make make twits more tolerable for sure.

  51. July 21, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    Greta post!
    Can you be a pen snob? I will search the house for hours until I find my papermate gel pen!

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

      Ooh yes. I worked with a guy who was a pen collector. He’d get all excited about the latest release from Mont Blanc and get it on the first day like it was the new iPhone. Bizarre, but whatever floats your boat (or inks your paper).

    • Angie
      July 21, 2011 at 5:49 pm #

      Oh, I am totally a pen snob. I strictly use the Pilot Precise V5 RT retractable gel-ink pen. Been using it for years and it literally annoys me to the point of not writing anything at all when I have to use an ordinary ink pen!

      • July 21, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

        It’s funny the things folks care about. Today I learned about pen snobs and toilet paper snobs!

  52. July 21, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    I am a bit of a cheese snob. I know. You can hold it against me. Have you tried the double cream brie or aged Dutch gouda from Trader Joe’s ? Once you do, you’ll know why I eschew Kraft.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

      I love good cheese, but I don’t limit what I eat based upon a snobby attitude. Nothing wrong with a Kraft grilled cheese!

  53. July 21, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Having high standards for the things you appreciate the most is nothing to be ashamed of. For me its Harley’s, whiskey, steak, and beer. Good post Jim.

    • July 21, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

      Thanks! Your approval makes me feel manly!!

    • July 21, 2011 at 5:05 pm #

      A wine dude!! Get the pitchforks!! Get the torches!!! 🙂

  54. July 21, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Col. Hogan taught me how to be a wine snob – blogged about coaching people to be wine snobs too

    • July 21, 2011 at 5:06 pm #

      Really? All he taught me was how to dig tunnels and hook up with hot chicks from the French Resistance!

      • February 15, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

        I’m also a snob about my retro sitcoms – a lot of Hogans, very little Gilligans – have you watched it recently – it’s not funny!

  55. Angie
    July 21, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

    Coming from a Dutch family, I can totally relate to the licorice. My father, who moved from the Netherlands to the US in the seventies happens to be one of those snobs. Growing up, we always had a package or two of “drop” in our house. And it was his. All his.
    Thanks for the laugh!

    • July 21, 2011 at 5:51 pm #

      Sounds like my kinda guy! 🙂

  56. July 21, 2011 at 7:25 pm #

    heinekens bro

  57. July 21, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

    Jim it is good you know what you like. Nothing is worse than those people who are indecisive about everything.

    Congrats on being Freshly Snobbish..I mean Freshly Pressed.

    Have a great day.


    • July 21, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

      Yeah, it’s alright to have standards, I just try not to be a dick about it. I have to admit I made some mistakes in that regard early on in my beer geekery, but I do better now.

  58. July 21, 2011 at 8:36 pm #

    I guess I am a licorice snob. I grew up in NY where we had Twizzlers, and transplanted to CA where they have Red Vines. There is a huge difference in taste, and I cannot bring myself to eat Red Vines. I’m now sitting here debating if it would be quicker/easier to make a list of things I am a snob about or am NOT a snob about. Thanks for giving me something to do tonight, haha!

    • July 21, 2011 at 8:59 pm #

      It’s certainly easier to come up with the stuff you’re a snob about, probably because it matters more to you. Otherwise, why even think about it?!

  59. Frances Yeo
    July 21, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    I love love love cheese! I haven’t really thought about whether I’m particular with the type of cheese I like, though. But usually, when a dish (doesn’t matter what kind) has cheese in it I’m be happy!

  60. July 21, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

    I was inspired, so I wrote about 5 things I am a snob about

  61. July 21, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

    Oh god I have to agree with the licorice! Mmmm my mouth waters whenever I picture myself eating a big bag of black licorice 🙂 Also I am definetley NOT a stickler when it comes to gummy bears…I could care less if there Trolly or Golden Bears all I care about is that they are in my mouth! 🙂 Loved reading this!

  62. July 21, 2011 at 11:05 pm #

    I only disagree about the home appliances. I can’t stand noisy dishwashers and washing machines. It drives me crazy. The same goes for vacs. As for cheeses, you can spend a lot without blinking an eye. It’s hard to say if it is worth the money or not!

  63. July 21, 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    Cheese AND Vodka for the win really! Best way to enjoy the night!

  64. thebigbookofdating
    July 22, 2011 at 12:48 am #

    Hahah this made me laugh! Great post! (:

  65. July 22, 2011 at 1:10 am #

    Hmm. I guess I can be snobby about the work I do. I am such a perfectionist, I can’t stand not doing the best I can do. But I always seem to hold lower standards for what other people do.

    Anyway, great post!

  66. July 22, 2011 at 5:02 am #

    Glad I found you on wordpress, lovely guy that Loves vodka, and How it doesn’t taste! haha haha totally agree with that, I’m a fan of vodka as well could probably blame my lithuanian roots hehe, but post was great and I really enjoyed reading it. *Subscribed*

    • July 22, 2011 at 8:07 am #

      Vodka is my second favorite spirit, right after whiskey and right before gin. That said, I hardly ever drink it – too many beers to explore I guess!

  67. July 22, 2011 at 5:32 am #

    I used to be open-minded about coffee. Okay, that sounds a bit grand. I used to have no ability to distinguish good coffee from bad, and I was reasonably happy that way. But when I gave up adulterating a bad cuppa joe with flavored creamers, I became a bit pickier. And when my husband switched us over to organic French Roast, I became insufferable. I can choke down a cup of Folgers at a friend’s house, but please don’t ask me to drink that swill day after day!

    • July 22, 2011 at 8:06 am #

      Nothing wrong with slipping into snobbery when it’s something you really enjoy. I’m a beer snob but I’ll drink a Bud with a friend if they offer. I just won’t spend my own $$ on it!

  68. July 22, 2011 at 7:05 am #

    be careful drinking cheap Vodka Jim, it makes you blind

    • July 22, 2011 at 8:05 am #

      If the other thing hasn’t done it yet, cheap vodka won’t be a problem!

  69. July 22, 2011 at 7:17 am #

    I am the least snobbish about television, by far. When you get hooked by Jersey Shore, there’s really no room to judge.

    Nice post!

    • July 22, 2011 at 8:04 am #

      Yes, I won’t cast any stones in that regard either. All I watch is Charles in Charge on DVD! 😉

  70. July 22, 2011 at 8:14 am #

    But Kraft singles… No esta queso! 😦
    LOL. This post is hilarious. I love your tone and style of humor.

  71. July 22, 2011 at 8:30 am #

    Interesting 🙂

  72. July 22, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    I loved this article and all the comments that have gone with it.

    1. I don’t care about the specs on my computer. I work in IT and yet I just don’t care about the Fronside Bus speed of my Motherboard.

    2. I am not a movie snob. I love movies but I don’t care if a movie makes me think or not. I just don’t want to be bored.

    3. I am not an audiophile. As long as I can hear it and the musician sounds good, I don’t care if it was on vinyl, CD, HD, .mp3 or whatever.

    Finally… I AM a grammar snob. I love the English language and I hate when I use it wrong and it annoys me when others do too. Not sure why. I won’t say anything about it but it bothers me. Especially when teachers have bad grammar. It’s horrible because I probably have tons of mistakes in this comment so I’m probably hypocritical too. 🙂

  73. July 22, 2011 at 9:31 am #

    I’m with you on the appliances and such . . . but you lost me on the cheese and licorice.

  74. July 22, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    Congrats on Freshly pressed! I am a huge fan of beer, so I was intrigued by this post. Cute/clever idea. And I’ll be back to check out your beer posts, as well.

  75. July 22, 2011 at 10:49 am #

    I will admit to being a grilled cheese snob. While Kraft slices are good if you are in a pinch, the best cheese for a grilled cheese is Meunster. Melts quickly and easily, when you cut the sandwhich in half (or in corners) the cheese pulls away in great strings. And it is perfect with tomato soup.

    Congrats on getting freshly pressed, love the post.

  76. jontimmsdesign
    July 23, 2011 at 6:49 am #

    Have to agree with you about cheese, cant beat average cheese on crackers.

    I have to say I am a snob when it comes to cars as well, I would much rather spend more money on a fun to drive and quirky car than a heap thats going to break down and be embarrassed to be seen in.

  77. Dian Wijayanti
    July 25, 2011 at 11:31 pm #

    I totally agree about the household appliances!! I think I’m a… coffee snob. Hahaha. Awesome post!

  78. July 30, 2011 at 2:31 am #

    Great post! I am loving the local Filipino beer made by San Miguel Corporation…

  79. realanonymousgirl2011
    August 4, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    Ok I’m a girl and I may have to concur with you on a few of these. The beer thing, I don’t like nor drink American or Mexican beer. Period. I’m not crazy about dark beers but I love me some Hefe and anything along that line especially German. And the cheese thing, I like cheese but it’s true the best grilled cheese is made with Kraft singles!

  80. December 7, 2012 at 9:41 am #

    So a year and a half later, someone is still reading your post! I’m a beer and coffee snob but will drink most any wine. I like wine a lot, but long ago realized that I couldn’t afford to be wine snob. I could probably tell a $6 bottle from a $20 bottle, but is the extent of my abilities.

    • December 7, 2012 at 10:04 am #

      I’m with you on wine. Mostly it tastes ‘winey” to me – the good stuff would probably be wasted on my philistine’s palate.


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