The irony that I got my ass kicked by beer while watching Kick Ass isn't lost on me.
So this happened. Friday night I was dipping into my wife’s hoard of Dragon’s Milk and watching the movie Kick Ass. I was having a great time – the beer was delicious and the movie was fun for what it was. It had been a CRAZY week, so kicking back with a good beer was a real pleasure. Actually, it was so much fun, I decided to crack open another bomber. What could possibly go wrong?
Well, as you can tell by the title, *that* can go wrong. Sometime during that second 22 ounces of Dragon’s Milk I got kinda hammered. I think the alcohol plus a long week with little sleep conspired with an oncoming cold to make me far more drunk than I had anticipated. This wasn’t my goal; I was in it for the flavor and pleasure of the moment, not to get dizzy.
But dizzy I got. By the time I caught on to what was happening, it was too late. I suddenly realized that I didn’t feel quite right, and I got up from my chair and the room swayed a bit. Oh crap, I thought, I’m accidentally drunk!
I managed to keep it together and clean up my glassware and tidy my viewing area before heading off to bed, so I guess I wasn’t that bad off. Still, I paid for it in the morning, as I had a hangover that lasted until I took a medically necessary nap on Saturday afternoon. That plus a couple of Victory Prima Pils put me on the path to a full recovery.
I think I was in just the right frame of mind to make a bad decision after that first bottle. I was feeling good but not drunk by any means, but it’s pretty clear now that my decision making capabilities were obviously impaired. If I was a little less tipsy the second bottle wouldn’t have been a mistake; a little more tipsy and I would have switched to water, as getting hammered wasn’t on the agenda. But, alas, I was in the sweet spot of stupidity.
It’s been awhile since this has happened to me. But I guess it shows that you’re never too old to be an Idiot.
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Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Man, it happens to all of us. A good secret is to alternate water between glasses…or at least bombers. I’ve done that before and just loaded up on water, Emergen-C, and Advil before heading off to bed. Sure, it can get away from you, but there’s no reason to let the hangover win.
I’m usually right there with the water as well, but not on Friday.
I guess that shows why it’s such a good idea…
I nearly pulled the same thing Saturday. Had a bomber of Great Divide’s 17th Anniversary Double IPA (10% ABV) and felt a little tipsy, but not too bad. The wife had just picked up some Breckenridge 471 IPA, so I switched to that for what I thought would be something lighter. After a few sips I had to pick up the bottle and look at the ABV: 9.2%! Luckily I stopped after that, not too worse for wear.
We were all drinking this weekend. I’ve been using the app iTappd to keep track of the beers I’ve consumed. Saturday, I earned the Taste Crazy badge for trying five different types of beers over the course of a day. One happened to be a bomber all by myself. Luckily, it was spread throughout and not all at once.
Forget video game achievements, those sound much cooler!
They are. I’m not even aware of them until they pop up. Of course, there is no “I Got Accidentally Drunk” badge, but maybe we could submit the idea.
Does it use GPS? There could be a “Wake Up in Jail” badge to go with the “Accidental Drunk” achievement. 🙂
I suppose. You can add your location.
Yeah I pulled a high score saturday trying something like 10 different beers. It was a good day. I didn’t untappp any, though. So I lose.
You’re wise for reading the label. A sneaky ABV beer could be a problem, especially under those circumstances.
ahh… the accidental drunk. We’ve all been there. Hell, I got there Friday night when a dinner date with the wife, my best friend, and his fiance’ turned into a bit of a blur. Things were good as I had a pint of SN Torpedo and a 22 oz glass of Founders Double Trouble (both on draft) and followed that up with a trip to our favorite beer bar where I had two pints of FFF Zombie Dust (possibly the best pale ale/APA/IPA ever made). I was feeling quite well at that point but for some reason I decided I needed that 9 oz pour of Struise’s Double Black, a 26% abv monster of an imperial stout. The result was me not remembering going to bed and waking up with something similar to an old Mike Tyson fight (pre- Cus D’Aamato’s death) going on in my skull.
Moral of the story: those sneaky drunks will get ya.
Ah, the “I finished with an insanely high ABV beer” kind of hangover. Those are the worst. Why do we do that? We should always finish with a low ABV beer, but we always go for the high.
Yea, those lower abv beers just don’t look as attractive as the big ones at the end of a night. Plus how many times do you get to have Double Black on draft? I had to take advantage, even if in the end it was I getting taken advantage of.
i’m glad I wasn’t taken advantage of that evening.
Oh you know you would have enjoyed it. And from what I remember, you were taken advantage of last Saturday.
You’re story is what I call a Tuesday night…
No, it happens a lot and jumps on ya real quick-like. I like RIP’s too much and it’s a given. I can play it off at home real well, but not as much outside.
I had a similar experience with the very same beer. Shared a growler with friends without knowing the abv. Before I knew it, my wife was driving me home while I was pleading with her to drive through Taco Bell.
I’m assuming she was smart enough to say no to the Taco Hell on the way home, at least I hope she was, or there would have been an even bigger mess to clean 😉
I got drunk this weekend, but it was on purpose.
I figured a “I Got Drunk on Purpose” wouldn’t have the same editorial novelty, John. As John King said above, he calls that “Tuesday Night.” 🙂
It reminds me of when I was in college. I had gone to a Cardinals playoff game and we were on our way back home (an hour away). En route, that “Cat’s in the Cradle” song came on. The entire car grew quiet as we all presumably began thinking aboutspending time with our respective fathers. The song ended, and there was an awkward silence. My friend Joe pierced the silence by declaring, “I could never relate to that song. My dad was always around.”
Anyway, you enjoyed the movie?
I feel your pain Jim. Your incident reminds me of the PBC Shackamaximum/Manhattan Club Manhattan incident of about a month ago. Didn’t plan on getting drunk, but 1 glass of Shackamaximums, 3 Manhattans, 1 Noble Pils, and two single malts later, and I was pretty wasted! I somehow managed to stumble back to my house and crash on my couch (more like fell over cause I didn’t want to lay down due to a serious case of “the spins”). Thought it was a fun night, I should have paced myself better. I’ll put the blame on my neighbor Limpd for luring me with a glass of Yamazaki 12. He’s an evil evil man!
Wow, good thing you weren’t driving! Next time I make it out to Jersey, I wanna attend the PBC Shackamaximum.Manhattan Club meeting too! 🙂
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again… the Bros are always welcome! Maybe Jim will even share some of his beer stash.
I’m not sure that was an accidental “drunkening”. When you drink 3 Manhattans in that short of a time span you are subconsciously trying to get drunk. I was just happy that you didn’t get tangled up in my backyard swingset and hang yourself as you stumbled home.
BTW – There will be no more Shackamaximum … bad beer … the Wookie has spoken!
Agreed. Bad bad beer!
The spins… those are bad news! They were the worst in college when I slept on the top bunk and felt like I was going to fall off my bed. I used to sleep flat on my stomach and wrap my arms around the mattress to hold the frame under each side, thinking it would keep me from falling off I suppose.
I try to only get accidentally drunk once a week. The other 4 times are on purpose. Like Hemingway’s, my best work breaks through when I’m sauced.
The accidental drunk is the worst kind of drunk. But it has happened to all of us on occasion.