Evolution of the Beer Geek

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Categories: Beer

Author:Jim

Craft beer nerd, frequent beer blogger and occasional home brewer.

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76 Comments on “Evolution of the Beer Geek”

  1. December 6, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    Hilarious! I lost it when I got to Beerdouchicus.

    Are one or the other of you a graphic designer? Your design work is very good. And has a consistent, branded look.

    • December 6, 2010 at 9:48 am #

      Thanks, John. Beerdouchicus is out there – be careful!

      I try to give our stuff a consistent look, which also males things go quicker when I design – less to think about when you have your color palate and fonts already thought out.

    • Jason
      December 12, 2014 at 11:08 am #

      Please note that beer douchicus has an additional subset – Hipster-Sapien. Even more mutated than beer douchicus, this species exclusively drinks PBR tallboys and enjoys a smug sense of superiority. Hipster-Sapien can be identifed by thrift store clothing (worn ironically, of course), unkempt beards, and thick rimmed glasses. it should also be noted that Hipster-Sapien has 20/20 vision.

      If you see a Hipster-Sapien in the wild, do not hesitate to eliminate him – he is a threat to our society.

  2. December 6, 2010 at 8:18 am #

    Jim, you’ve outdone yourself again! (I think I’m linking to this one from the FB Page!) I’m not even able to comment on the content I’m just so blown away by how much thought obviously went into it. LOVE IT!

    • December 6, 2010 at 9:53 am #

      Thanks, Scott. It was actually one of our readers who said I should do it. He read my “Confessions of a Beer Hoarder” post and said the progression would make a great poster. He even threw out the caveman idea. I think it works well and I didn’t have to think it up!

  3. December 6, 2010 at 9:31 am #

    Yo Jimbo!

    Thanks for almost making me spit up my morning coffee! HILARIOUS!

    Not quite sure where I fall on the Beer Geek Evolutionary Ladder. I think I’m somewhere between Craftus Erectus and Geeko Sapien. We all have our Douchie days, so hopefully, there’s is only a wee bit of that in me.

    Peace Yo!
    G-LO

    • December 6, 2010 at 9:56 am #

      Yo, G-LO!

      I agree that most Geeko Sapiens has regressive Beerdouchicus tendencies. I know I have to fight sometimes to not take it all too seriously.

      • December 6, 2010 at 10:20 pm #

        JIMBO!

        Important question… what were you drinking when you came up with this? 🙂

        • December 6, 2010 at 10:33 pm #

          Yo, G-LO!

          I was enjoying a Troegs Mad Elf when I started with the initial design and then did the rest stone cold sober.

          So I guess you can say it was designed by an elf and written by a square!

      • December 6, 2010 at 10:38 pm #

        Whatever it takes to get the job done! 🙂

  4. Dave
    December 6, 2010 at 9:41 am #

    Wow Jim, you nailed it. As soon as I read Sneakaschlitzicus and realized “Hey, that was me!,” I knew it was going to be a triumph. Really, really good stuff.

    • December 6, 2010 at 9:57 am #

      Thanks, Dave. I think many of us started in the woods with warm beers, even if most of the kids we were sneaking beers with are still drinking Schlitz.

      • Dave
        December 6, 2010 at 10:32 am #

        There always seemed to tattered Playboys to go with the warm beer in the woods, as I recall. This would make a great poster or t-shirt. The editor in me spotted a typo, in Beerdouchicus, you have “corned” instead of “cornered.”

        • December 6, 2010 at 10:57 am #

          Yes, tattered Playboys and warm beer are terrific combo and bring back many happy shameful memories!

          Nice catch on the typo. I’ll try and fix it tonight. I need an editor!

  5. December 6, 2010 at 10:53 am #

    This is great! haha! I know I’m still evolving, but one thing’s for sure; I started with warm beer in the woods too!

    • December 6, 2010 at 11:00 am #

      I think we all did, Cindy. I can remember a friend taking a warm can of Schlitz and throwing it onto a pointy rock. It popped a hole in the side of the can, and the beer propelled itself in a tight circle, spraying warm suds as it spun. Not why that’s stayed with me for so long, but it’s one of those memories that linger.

      • December 6, 2010 at 1:48 pm #

        • December 6, 2010 at 2:00 pm #

          🙂 Little fella just needs a can of Bud!

      • Zachery Young
        December 31, 2013 at 3:27 am #

        I am a whiskey drinker no beer just not in my taste buds. Never cold just chilled iced or mixed

  6. Matt
    December 6, 2010 at 11:22 am #

    Jim, you nailed it! I may have had the idea, but you took it to a whole new level. Very creative and it’s funny because it’s true!

    • December 6, 2010 at 11:29 am #

      It’s been stuck in my head since you gave me the idea, Matt. I’m glad you think I did it justice.

      And you’re right – it’s all true and I could have kept adding details. It’s easy to poke fun of beer geeks when you are one I guess.

  7. December 6, 2010 at 11:24 am #

    Nailed it. Of course, the Beerdouchicus is a necessary evil in the evolution the Beer Geek. Admit it. We’re all guilty of beer-douchery at some point.

    • December 6, 2010 at 11:31 am #

      Yes, it’s the regressive Beerdouchicus gene. It bubbles up from time to time, especially when I see someone drinking straight from a bottle. I usually have to say something and then regret opening my mouth because I ALWAYS sound like a douche!

      • Matt
        December 6, 2010 at 11:49 am #

        Hey, I drank from the bottle with a Victory Hop Devil yesterday! I was honestly just sick and tired of dirtying glasses and I wanted to walk around the house cleaning and not worry about spilling out of a glass. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t care.

        • December 6, 2010 at 11:59 am #

          struggling…not…to…say…anything…must…not…take…bait…

      • Matt
        December 6, 2010 at 1:43 pm #

        …and then I chugged the IPA at 36F and slammed the bottle on the counter with a big grunt, knocking over my bowl of pork rinds and spilling some of the swill on my RIP #3 t-shirt.

      • Matt
        December 6, 2010 at 1:44 pm #

        …and the only reason I let it get so cold is I didn’t have any blue mountains to tell me when it was cold enough to drink.

        • Don
          December 6, 2010 at 1:45 pm #

          the Devolution begins!

        • December 6, 2010 at 1:46 pm #

          You’re killing me , Matt! 🙂

  8. December 6, 2010 at 11:26 am #

    High comedy my friend, high comedy. Very well done.

    That is all I have to say.

    • December 6, 2010 at 11:31 am #

      Thanks, Mikey!

  9. Alex
    December 6, 2010 at 11:44 am #

    [slow clap]

    Bravo! It’s too bad that everyone has to go through the Beerdouchicus stage, but I guess that’s part of the journey. You’re definitely right a bout the regressive gene aspect of that stage, though. It creeps up whenever I see someone buy a case of Bud Light, or refer to Fat Tire as a “dark” beer.

    • Alex
      December 6, 2010 at 11:44 am #

      *about

    • December 6, 2010 at 11:46 am #

      It’s a constant struggle for sure. 🙂

  10. December 6, 2010 at 1:50 pm #

    Saw this linked on Facebook, I laughed out loud multiple times. Such a funny idea and it definitely hits close to home. I cringed as I laughed at “Beerdouchicus” because we’ve all been there (unfortunately). Keep up the good work!

    • December 6, 2010 at 2:01 pm #

      Thanks, Craig. That’s why Beerdouchicus is there – you kinda have to go through that phase to become a more tolerant beer nerd.

      • Matt
        December 6, 2010 at 2:29 pm #

        The -douchicus suffix is a natural stage of any endeavor you take on. It’s a self-validation of all of your hard work, research and time. It also plays to the natural human drive to share knowledge. I’ve been an Anglerdouchicus, Gadgetdouchicus, Compdouchicus and, yes, a Beerdouchicus.

        • December 6, 2010 at 2:33 pm #

          I guess that would make me an autodouchicus and a fellow gadgetdouchicus as well.

  11. Skram
    December 6, 2010 at 2:48 pm #

    Hate to be a grammardouchicus, but the line “especially because he shares is excellent beer” needs to be changed to “his excellent beer”.

    Only pointing this out because this graphic worth printing out and hanging up on the wall. Love it!

    The only other thing I wanted to mention is that you should do one of these for lady craft beer drinkers. This one is a perfect fit for male beer drinkers, but the female beer drinker is another animal altogether–and I think you could have just as much fun with it.

    Cheers!

    • December 6, 2010 at 2:52 pm #

      Don’t worry about pointing out the grammatical stuff – there are a few things I’d like to fix, but the cat has left the bag and the file is on another computer. I guess I have to hope folks find it more authentic with the mistakes. 🙂

      I like the lady craft beer drinker idea. A different animal indeed!

      • Angela
        December 6, 2010 at 5:37 pm #

        Agreed! I love this, but did not love being relegated to beerus sippicus.

        • December 6, 2010 at 5:40 pm #

          That’s only at the Kegostandicus phase, Angela. I’m sure you’re a Geeko Sapien or even a Nerdus Maximus, just like my wife!

          Mostly I wanted to portray the idea that boys are dumb.

  12. December 6, 2010 at 3:20 pm #

    I used to be the Beerdouchicus, but I have since evolved past that stage.

    • December 6, 2010 at 3:21 pm #

      Congrats on that, Tex. Some never do. I could give you a list if you’d like… 😉

  13. December 7, 2010 at 7:23 am #

    What a wonderful post! Sums up so much about beer that transcends the evolutionary chain.

    Life is easier when you have a taxonomy to refer to the subtleties in whatever world you’re in. We’ve needed that taxonomy to refer to these different beer drinkers, and I think what you have put together is perfect!

    As it gets more layers of complexity, we can add kingdom phylum etc. to your genus species, add hunting and foraging characteristics, mating habits, territorial and confrontational habits, etc.

    You are the Jane Goodall of beer primates!

    • December 7, 2010 at 8:11 am #

      That’s a long way to go to call me an ape lady! 😉

      I agree that there’s lots of room for addition to the chart. I tried to get the idea out there – we’ll see if anyone runs with it.

  14. December 7, 2010 at 8:27 am #

    Awesome post / graphic, love it. Thanks for sharing!

    • December 7, 2010 at 9:43 am #

      Glad you enjoyed it Richard!

  15. December 7, 2010 at 11:33 am #

    Jim, EXCELLENT! Thank you for this! I’m new to the movement, and have no guidelines to work from. This chart will help me stay out of the ditches during my journey. Although I wish I would have seen this before our neighborhood party last week.. I’m afraid I exhibited Beerdouch-like behaviour. AND the BJCP Style Guide is on my Christmas list!

    • December 7, 2010 at 11:38 am #

      HA ha – There’s nothing wrong with having the style guide. It’s the beating people over the head with it part that’s bad form.

      And we ALL hit the Beerdouchicus phase – How do you think I know about, anyway? I lived it!

      We get overexcited about beer and lose track of how our enthusiasm might make others feel. It’s part of the journey.

  16. 1Time4got
    December 8, 2010 at 5:10 pm #

    Thanks for helping me track my evolution from a Lone Star guzzling college clown to a Geeko Sapien although every now and then I revert back to Kegostandicus especially after making the monthly child support payment.

    Hard to find good craft beers in the High Desert, but when I travel I stock up on them and look forward to my next trip.

    • December 8, 2010 at 5:15 pm #

      Yeah, we all revert back at some point. I imagine writing that check is enough to drive you to drink. Upside down. With a funnel.

      As far as not being able to get a lot of beers goes, there’s always something you want that you can’t get in the world of craft beer. I think that’s what keeps us going – looking for that next great beer. Don’s out in Idaho, so I’m sure he can feel your pain.

      • 1Time4got
        December 8, 2010 at 5:55 pm #

        Jim,

        I’ll be driving up Highway 101 next week through Oregon, the land of great craft beers, and onto Kitsap County, Wash., which has at least one good microbrewery, so I’ll satisfy my longing for good beer. On the way back, I plan on stocking up at every little store along 101 so I’ll have enough good beer to last awhile.

        That being said, I’m wondering if you might know how one can acquire some Dixie beer. It was one of my more refined beverage choices in college.

        • Don
          December 8, 2010 at 6:08 pm #

          Don’t forget to stop in at the Pelican Pub and Brewery in Pacific City, Oregon. They have some world class brews and a great location for lunch or dinner! http://www.pelicanbrewery.com/default.htm

        • Don
          December 8, 2010 at 6:16 pm #

          Dixie Beer is brewed in New Orleand and is carried by Total Bev online, so it might be carried by BevMo or Whole foods in CA, depending on where you are picking up the 101.

  17. Mike Burke
    January 6, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    Hahaha! This is great! Sadly, I think I am in the Beerdouchicus stage, but I guess knowing where I stand is a good first step in further evolving.

    Jim, I noticed you were from NJ. So am I! I’m actually visiting a friend in Philly this weekend to check out the Victory Brewery. Would you perhaps know of any cool craft brewers located in our wonderful garden state?

    • January 6, 2011 at 2:55 pm #

      Hey Mike. Enjoy Victory and go there hungry, because the food is pretty terrific.

      In NJ, there’s Flying Fish (meh), Cricket Hill (meh) and NJ Beer Co (which is very good, but mostly sessionable). For the good stuff, head west to Victory, Stoudts, Yards, Weyerbacher, and Troegs (if you have a full tank of gas). The laws in NJ make it hard for brewers to get started, so the talent tends to leave and open up breweries just over the border. I have friends who are working on opening their own place, and they’re looking right over the NY border in Rockland County because NY will let them brew as a brewery and have an attached brewpub. That’s a no-no in NJ.

      As far as being a Beerdouchicus, as GI Joe says,knowing is half the battle!

  18. May 6, 2011 at 12:10 pm #

    Had a beer tasting last night at a liquor store, and my empirical evidence supports that the Beerdouchicus stage is highly populated by urban 20 somethings.

    • May 6, 2011 at 12:17 pm #

      You’re right on the money, Chris. And did they turn away from your offerings becuase “session” isn’t “special” enough, or did they dig right in?

  19. Chibigodzilla
    May 9, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    But where do the Homebrewicus family branch off? Or are we just a subspecies?

    • May 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

      I think it’s an entirely different breed, one worthy of its own evolutionary tree.

  20. November 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

    Lol love Beeradouchicus… gotta say calling people out on saying they love some of the worst sours out there is hilarious.

    Thanks for helping me classify myself, and for giving my wife more ammunition for making fun of me.

  21. December 13, 2013 at 8:06 am #

    Awesome infographic!

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