December 6, 2010 |
Tags: beer geek, infographic
Like beer? Like whiskey? Like goofing off?
Hilarious! I lost it when I got to Beerdouchicus.
Are one or the other of you a graphic designer? Your design work is very good. And has a consistent, branded look.
Thanks, John. Beerdouchicus is out there – be careful!
I try to give our stuff a consistent look, which also males things go quicker when I design – less to think about when you have your color palate and fonts already thought out.
Please note that beer douchicus has an additional subset – Hipster-Sapien. Even more mutated than beer douchicus, this species exclusively drinks PBR tallboys and enjoys a smug sense of superiority. Hipster-Sapien can be identifed by thrift store clothing (worn ironically, of course), unkempt beards, and thick rimmed glasses. it should also be noted that Hipster-Sapien has 20/20 vision.
If you see a Hipster-Sapien in the wild, do not hesitate to eliminate him – he is a threat to our society.
Jim, you’ve outdone yourself again! (I think I’m linking to this one from the FB Page!) I’m not even able to comment on the content I’m just so blown away by how much thought obviously went into it. LOVE IT!
Thanks, Scott. It was actually one of our readers who said I should do it. He read my “Confessions of a Beer Hoarder” post and said the progression would make a great poster. He even threw out the caveman idea. I think it works well and I didn’t have to think it up!
Thanks for almost making me spit up my morning coffee! HILARIOUS!
Not quite sure where I fall on the Beer Geek Evolutionary Ladder. I think I’m somewhere between Craftus Erectus and Geeko Sapien. We all have our Douchie days, so hopefully, there’s is only a wee bit of that in me.
I agree that most Geeko Sapiens has regressive Beerdouchicus tendencies. I know I have to fight sometimes to not take it all too seriously.
Important question… what were you drinking when you came up with this? 🙂
I was enjoying a Troegs Mad Elf when I started with the initial design and then did the rest stone cold sober.
So I guess you can say it was designed by an elf and written by a square!
Whatever it takes to get the job done! 🙂
Wow Jim, you nailed it. As soon as I read Sneakaschlitzicus and realized “Hey, that was me!,” I knew it was going to be a triumph. Really, really good stuff.
Thanks, Dave. I think many of us started in the woods with warm beers, even if most of the kids we were sneaking beers with are still drinking Schlitz.
There always seemed to tattered Playboys to go with the warm beer in the woods, as I recall. This would make a great poster or t-shirt. The editor in me spotted a typo, in Beerdouchicus, you have “corned” instead of “cornered.”
Yes, tattered Playboys and warm beer are terrific combo and bring back many happy shameful memories!
Nice catch on the typo. I’ll try and fix it tonight. I need an editor!
This is great! haha! I know I’m still evolving, but one thing’s for sure; I started with warm beer in the woods too!
I think we all did, Cindy. I can remember a friend taking a warm can of Schlitz and throwing it onto a pointy rock. It popped a hole in the side of the can, and the beer propelled itself in a tight circle, spraying warm suds as it spun. Not why that’s stayed with me for so long, but it’s one of those memories that linger.
🙂 Little fella just needs a can of Bud!
I am a whiskey drinker no beer just not in my taste buds. Never cold just chilled iced or mixed
Jim, you nailed it! I may have had the idea, but you took it to a whole new level. Very creative and it’s funny because it’s true!
It’s been stuck in my head since you gave me the idea, Matt. I’m glad you think I did it justice.
And you’re right – it’s all true and I could have kept adding details. It’s easy to poke fun of beer geeks when you are one I guess.
Nailed it. Of course, the Beerdouchicus is a necessary evil in the evolution the Beer Geek. Admit it. We’re all guilty of beer-douchery at some point.
Yes, it’s the regressive Beerdouchicus gene. It bubbles up from time to time, especially when I see someone drinking straight from a bottle. I usually have to say something and then regret opening my mouth because I ALWAYS sound like a douche!
Hey, I drank from the bottle with a Victory Hop Devil yesterday! I was honestly just sick and tired of dirtying glasses and I wanted to walk around the house cleaning and not worry about spilling out of a glass. I knew it was wrong, but I didn’t care.
…and then I chugged the IPA at 36F and slammed the bottle on the counter with a big grunt, knocking over my bowl of pork rinds and spilling some of the swill on my RIP #3 t-shirt.
…and the only reason I let it get so cold is I didn’t have any blue mountains to tell me when it was cold enough to drink.
the Devolution begins!
You’re killing me , Matt! 🙂
High comedy my friend, high comedy. Very well done.
That is all I have to say.
Bravo! It’s too bad that everyone has to go through the Beerdouchicus stage, but I guess that’s part of the journey. You’re definitely right a bout the regressive gene aspect of that stage, though. It creeps up whenever I see someone buy a case of Bud Light, or refer to Fat Tire as a “dark” beer.
It’s a constant struggle for sure. 🙂
Saw this linked on Facebook, I laughed out loud multiple times. Such a funny idea and it definitely hits close to home. I cringed as I laughed at “Beerdouchicus” because we’ve all been there (unfortunately). Keep up the good work!
Thanks, Craig. That’s why Beerdouchicus is there – you kinda have to go through that phase to become a more tolerant beer nerd.
The -douchicus suffix is a natural stage of any endeavor you take on. It’s a self-validation of all of your hard work, research and time. It also plays to the natural human drive to share knowledge. I’ve been an Anglerdouchicus, Gadgetdouchicus, Compdouchicus and, yes, a Beerdouchicus.
I guess that would make me an autodouchicus and a fellow gadgetdouchicus as well.
Hate to be a grammardouchicus, but the line “especially because he shares is excellent beer” needs to be changed to “his excellent beer”.
Only pointing this out because this graphic worth printing out and hanging up on the wall. Love it!
The only other thing I wanted to mention is that you should do one of these for lady craft beer drinkers. This one is a perfect fit for male beer drinkers, but the female beer drinker is another animal altogether–and I think you could have just as much fun with it.
Don’t worry about pointing out the grammatical stuff – there are a few things I’d like to fix, but the cat has left the bag and the file is on another computer. I guess I have to hope folks find it more authentic with the mistakes. 🙂
I like the lady craft beer drinker idea. A different animal indeed!
Agreed! I love this, but did not love being relegated to beerus sippicus.
That’s only at the Kegostandicus phase, Angela. I’m sure you’re a Geeko Sapien or even a Nerdus Maximus, just like my wife!
Mostly I wanted to portray the idea that boys are dumb.
I used to be the Beerdouchicus, but I have since evolved past that stage.
Congrats on that, Tex. Some never do. I could give you a list if you’d like… 😉
What a wonderful post! Sums up so much about beer that transcends the evolutionary chain.
Life is easier when you have a taxonomy to refer to the subtleties in whatever world you’re in. We’ve needed that taxonomy to refer to these different beer drinkers, and I think what you have put together is perfect!
As it gets more layers of complexity, we can add kingdom phylum etc. to your genus species, add hunting and foraging characteristics, mating habits, territorial and confrontational habits, etc.
You are the Jane Goodall of beer primates!
That’s a long way to go to call me an ape lady! 😉
I agree that there’s lots of room for addition to the chart. I tried to get the idea out there – we’ll see if anyone runs with it.
Awesome post / graphic, love it. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it Richard!
Jim, EXCELLENT! Thank you for this! I’m new to the movement, and have no guidelines to work from. This chart will help me stay out of the ditches during my journey. Although I wish I would have seen this before our neighborhood party last week.. I’m afraid I exhibited Beerdouch-like behaviour. AND the BJCP Style Guide is on my Christmas list!
HA ha – There’s nothing wrong with having the style guide. It’s the beating people over the head with it part that’s bad form.
And we ALL hit the Beerdouchicus phase – How do you think I know about, anyway? I lived it!
We get overexcited about beer and lose track of how our enthusiasm might make others feel. It’s part of the journey.
Thanks for helping me track my evolution from a Lone Star guzzling college clown to a Geeko Sapien although every now and then I revert back to Kegostandicus especially after making the monthly child support payment.
Hard to find good craft beers in the High Desert, but when I travel I stock up on them and look forward to my next trip.
Yeah, we all revert back at some point. I imagine writing that check is enough to drive you to drink. Upside down. With a funnel.
As far as not being able to get a lot of beers goes, there’s always something you want that you can’t get in the world of craft beer. I think that’s what keeps us going – looking for that next great beer. Don’s out in Idaho, so I’m sure he can feel your pain.
I’ll be driving up Highway 101 next week through Oregon, the land of great craft beers, and onto Kitsap County, Wash., which has at least one good microbrewery, so I’ll satisfy my longing for good beer. On the way back, I plan on stocking up at every little store along 101 so I’ll have enough good beer to last awhile.
That being said, I’m wondering if you might know how one can acquire some Dixie beer. It was one of my more refined beverage choices in college.
Don’t forget to stop in at the Pelican Pub and Brewery in Pacific City, Oregon. They have some world class brews and a great location for lunch or dinner! http://www.pelicanbrewery.com/default.htm
Dixie Beer is brewed in New Orleand and is carried by Total Bev online, so it might be carried by BevMo or Whole foods in CA, depending on where you are picking up the 101.
Hahaha! This is great! Sadly, I think I am in the Beerdouchicus stage, but I guess knowing where I stand is a good first step in further evolving.
Jim, I noticed you were from NJ. So am I! I’m actually visiting a friend in Philly this weekend to check out the Victory Brewery. Would you perhaps know of any cool craft brewers located in our wonderful garden state?
Hey Mike. Enjoy Victory and go there hungry, because the food is pretty terrific.
In NJ, there’s Flying Fish (meh), Cricket Hill (meh) and NJ Beer Co (which is very good, but mostly sessionable). For the good stuff, head west to Victory, Stoudts, Yards, Weyerbacher, and Troegs (if you have a full tank of gas). The laws in NJ make it hard for brewers to get started, so the talent tends to leave and open up breweries just over the border. I have friends who are working on opening their own place, and they’re looking right over the NY border in Rockland County because NY will let them brew as a brewery and have an attached brewpub. That’s a no-no in NJ.
As far as being a Beerdouchicus, as GI Joe says,knowing is half the battle!
Had a beer tasting last night at a liquor store, and my empirical evidence supports that the Beerdouchicus stage is highly populated by urban 20 somethings.
You’re right on the money, Chris. And did they turn away from your offerings becuase “session” isn’t “special” enough, or did they dig right in?
But where do the Homebrewicus family branch off? Or are we just a subspecies?
I think it’s an entirely different breed, one worthy of its own evolutionary tree.
Lol love Beeradouchicus… gotta say calling people out on saying they love some of the worst sours out there is hilarious.
Thanks for helping me classify myself, and for giving my wife more ammunition for making fun of me.
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