Stranded in Idaho

OK…so I live in Idaho, but not all Idaho is created equal.  I had the unique experience of going from the largest metropolitan area of the state, Boise, to one of the least populous counties in America (1.8 people per square mile average) all in the same day.  And guess what,  the least populous place was where I had to stay!  I’m doing a project for my real job in this tiny community and had afternoon meetings there.  Given the fact that the nearest airport with commercial service is about 90 miles away in Lewiston, Idaho and only has one flight a day in or out from Boise we decided it best to drive and to spend the night in the County Seat.

When I say stranded; there is stranded and then there is STRANDED!  We weren’t STRANDED, our car didn’t break down, and there was no mechanic named Buba involved in our story, however I believe at one point I heard banjos playing.  There is however a different type of stranded, a voluntary stranding if you will, a stranded soul in an isolated town where the favorite pass time is shooting the potato gun and drinking Miller Genuine Draft from a plastic bottle; that is where this story resides.   We were fortunate that we were able to stay in their most upscale of acommodations.  Our room included a TV from about 1999, a coffee maker with stale coffee packets, a mini fridge that rattled and hummed,  a barkalounger, and an ironing board and iron that was mounted to the wall in full view.  Hey, at least they worked.  The bed was lumpy and the pillows were about as hard as the brake pedel in my car, and about as fluffy.

In a town like this your choices are limited.  Don’t get me wrong, this would be a far better place to live than it is to visit.  If you lived there you could buy upgrades.  Nice bed, decent bedding, good furniture, interior space upgrades, you could buy and keep on hand good beer and whiskey.  You could make arangements with local grocers for fresh fish and produce, and beer.  You could travel to Spokane where they don’t have State run Liquor stores and have a huge array of top shelf liquors to choose from, you could install granite countertops for sanity.

These are all choices for residents.  The business traveler on the other hand has virtually no choices and it has the feel of having left Idaho, and somehow being transported to Tok, Alaska.  There are literally three restaurants worth eating at, and it was only about 4 years ago that the best of them opened.  I remember perfectly because it had just opened two days before a previous trip I made there.  I went into Ernies Steakhouse not knowing what to expect.  To my surprise I had an excellent steak and of course potato.  At least I had that  to look forward to, and I did have an excellent piece of prime rib.  That however is where the excellence stopped.

We were there the night of the big Boise State and Oregon game.  In Idaho this game had been hyped for the last several months, and as each week went by the game got a little more attention.  So, of course we wanted to watch the game and drink some good whiskey and beer.  After dinner we retired to the bar to find our spots and order our libations.  The granite tile counter at the bar, leather bar stools, rich wood accents, and river rock wainscoating gave me hope that they indeed would have a good whiskey.  Imagine my disapointment when my selection was three Kentucky bourbons and one Tennessee Whiskey.  Of course the Tennessee Whiskey was the obligatory bottle of Jack Daniels Old No.7, and the Bourbons were Early Times, Jim Beam, and Makers Mark.

That’s it.  I was afraid of what the Early Times would do to me, and I have already reviewed the Makers, and it isn’t my favorite, so I was stranded with the decidedly mediocre Jim Beam.  I’ll review it later, but suffice it to say it is a solid Bourbon with little to offend or inspire.

For beer we drank Moose Drool.  A nutty brown ale that has a full bodied flavor.  Again I will review this at a later time too, but I found it funny that on the drink menu they called that a Microbrew, along with Sam Adams, Pyramid Hef, and Michelob.  Those are micros in Grangeville, Idaho.

I could go on, but I will spare you all the details about the 25 inch tube TVs that were suspended from the cieling like a wrecking ball on a crane, the color of which made Boise State’s inimitable blue turf look like a shaggy sea on a windy day, the lack of a foot rail that made you feel like a little kid sitting in Grandpa’s chair, and the wait staff (not bartender) that didn’t know the difference between Scotch, Brandy and Whiskey.

So after the 5 hour ride back to civilization I got out of my car kissed the ground and ordered a Buffalo Trace…yet another post to come.

-Don