…is poking fun at Jim’s expense, of course! So, above is a picture of Jim’s new car. Spankin’ new is a matter of fact. Looks like little brother is hitting that “Mid-Life Crisis” stage where he buys something fun and completely impractical! Jim and I have been texting back and forth about which car he should buy. He’s had the itch ever since his wife bought a new car about 4 months ago, and I know my little brother when he gets that itch the only thing that will scratch it for him is to get his new toy. I guess I just expected it to be a little …hmmm…less toy like?
So like I said we have been discussing what car he should get, and he had settled on the VW CC as his new ride. Sophisticated and elegant with sleek lines and great giddy up. Here is a picture of that car.
This is a very respectable car that you would expect a marketing guy (newly in his 40s) to drive. Makes sense and for someone that has two kids it looks like that would be a reasonable automobile, part sport for Dad, part family car for family. But no, my brother goes out and buys a clown car Mini Cooper Convertible. I was wondering why he got a convertible, then I realized that Jim is 6’6″ so it makes sense, it needs to be a convertible so he can actually fit in the thing. That’s gonna be hell when it rains!
So my question to you is what kind of beer would a guy who drives a convertible mini drink? Here is my logic and the beer I have chosen. First of all, the Mini is designed by BMW, so it is German in origin but manufactured in England. So it is kind of a poser. Thus I began to think of what craft brew is a poser kind of beer? It has to be a lager, since all the bigs make fizzy yellow lagers, and some contract brew like BMW is doing with Mini. Second it is a convertible, so it has to evoke sun and fun. I thought about Longboard Lager, but that still has too much flavor, no a guy that drives a convertible mini that is designed by BMW then contract constructed in the old Mini plant needs less flavor. There is a perfect beer for a guy that drives this rig, it is Landshark Lager. It is light and has little taste, has the moniker of Margaritaville Brewing, but is actually brewed by…wait for it… Anheuser-Busch!
What kind of beer should Jim drink based on his car purchase? Let Jim (and me) know in the comments!
-Don
Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Chick Beer. 🙂
Indeed! 🙂
No, it’s more of a metrosexual thing, like Blue Moon…wait…why am I helping?!!!
OUCH!
Hey, he bought it, I’m just bringing it to light. 😉
This reminds me of the Simpsons obscure character, Very Tall Man (http://images.wikia.com/simpsons/images/6/60/Very_Tall_Man.jpg). Tall man in a small car.
A Mini-Cooper is one thing…but a convertible. I’m sure you will either be blaring WHAM! or some Wilson Phillips out of that thing. On the down payment, was your man-card a part of the deal.
Are you going to name it Bartles so than you can refer to yourself and the car as Bartles and James?
I love you John! That was awesome! The part about Bartles made me laugh out loud at my desk! People probably think I’m nuts! I’m thinkin’ Jim needs to dust off his Culture Club CDs and blare out some Boy George out of this thing!
Seriously, you just made this post worth reading, John!
You know what would make the Mini-Cooper better….Orange Mocha Frappucinos!!
I think this car could fit in the back of Don or I’s truck. I wish I could be there if you ever valet your car just to see the valet boys snicker at each other.
You John, have single handedly made sure Jim will NEVER Valet this car! He’ll probably even avoid weddings if they have valet parking!
Don – my first thought after reading the post was something with fruit so my pick would be Wild Blue Blueberry Lager…..also brewed by Anheuser-Busch. (Sorry Jim)
Ouch, dude!
Well, you know Greg, you aren’t that far off. One of Jim’s favorite summer “beers” is Summer shandy which is half weak Leinenkugels Lager and half lemonade, so you are spot on with Jim’s personality!
Ummm … do they make mini beers? 12oz bottles will probably fit. I’m not sure your can stuff a bomber in that thing. And forget about 750s. Maybe Jim needs a cute little trailer or side car for his beer runs. Painted to match, of course. ;^)
Of course. 🙂
I think Rogue was bottling little 8 oz beers, but they are probably still too flavorful and Manly for Jim. I believe that the “boot” has just enough space for a six of bud light.
I’d say Avery Maharaja DIPA. A bold, lively choice that’s full of flavor and created for enlightened people who know what they like.
Also, it’s isn’t lost on me that you’ve been absent all week here Don, but have found time to cobble this nasty little bit of jealousy together.
Go ahead and hate, haters. You know I’m cool! 😀
I’m Cool, I’M Cool…Haters wah….
What was that “beer” the other day called? Oh yeah Animee. That’s it. Drink up Jim! I kid I kid, congratulations on the new ride.
Don’t congratulate him! He’ll think he did good…No, he should have bought a Ford F250.
Is that what metrosexuals are driving in Idaho these days, trimmed-beard boy? 🙂
Well if you could ever sport the facial hair You might know that trimming a beard is like clipping your fingernails. Ya gotta do it. I guess I could go untrimmed, but then I’m afraid people would mistake me for Bigfoot.
Mini beers – yep – Little Kings cream ale – right? 🙂
Hey Jim – wanna race my mini car vs your mini car? Pretty sure yours will win though lol Those things are pretty fast.
I think that probably one of the most fitting brews out there for Jim would be from Clown Shoes. No, not Tramp Stamp, but their Clementine Witbier. Its a wheat beer seasoned with coriander and orange. Fruity and from clowns! Perfect combo.
Jim Jim Jim, well done.
I used to spend weekends driving the Catskills in my MGs. It will be far more fun in a Mini.
If I could, I’d be driving MY mini there right now. 🙂
Pack a lunch and head over Cuomo Land via Port Jervis.
Fill the tank in PJ and put the top down.
Head Northwest out of PJ on Rt-97.
Take 97 up to Hancock – about 60 miles and fun.
Go West out of Hancock on 17 (Boring but only 10 or 15 minutes) to East Branch and take a left onto Rt-30 (fun again).
Stay on 30 till Margretville where it turns into Rt-28 (Still fun) and proceed on to Big Indian.
There’s a road out of Big Indian to the south that goes to Claryville, FREAKING BUCKLE UP and have fun.
From Claryville just head south to 55 and then west to 17 in Liberty. You can make your way back to the Arm Pit from there.
You can buy me a beer at the Falling Rock in September.
You’re welcome,
Jeff
Ugh…I was hoping you didn’t see this post Jeff. You Mini guys stick together.
Nothing Mini about me, I do drive one though…
Sounds like a fun ride, Jeff. Glad to see a gentleman of taste and culture on this otherwise rowdy and clear metrosexual-unfriendly comment thread.
🙂
Jeff, Jim just called you a Metrosexual! You should blast him for that!
My vote would be any brand of kölsch, said to be Germany’s answer to the British pale ale.
See – now that’s a constructive suggestion!
Hey Jim, the thought just occurred to me that if the Mini doesn’t work out for you my Saint Bernard could always use another chew toy! Just let me know ol’ buddy, Joysey ain’t that far away for me.
Your dog would probably choke on it – it’s pretty small.
I have that problem with my dog too. He always wants to play fetch with them!
Don and Jim, you make me miss my brothers, and all the teasing fun we had…
Loved the post and thread, most because of that family dynamic!
Sweet ride! I’ve heard the suspension on the Minis is a bit iffy, though. Still one of my two wishlist cars, along with a Jeep Wrangler.
As for the beer, given that it is a German-British collaboration maybe some kind of black and tan combination? Spaten Optimator and Young’s Ramrod Ale? Or Fuller’s London Porter and a Dusseldorfer Altbier?
I’m sure Jim will bust a kidney soon. The jersey roads combined with the 2800 pounds of car in such a compact shape will ensure he is riding on the frame in no time.
The suspension is stiff, but you can really feel the road (in a good way). Coming from a Subaru WRX it’s actaully an imporvement in the NVH arena.
Aww how cute, I wonder what kind of car that mini wants to be when it grows up 🙂
Look on the bright side, he could have bought one of those rather silly and even smaller Smart car things. Do you have those over there? If not, goooogle it.
As for beer? Something alcohol free so he can enjoy the motoring.
Enjoy!
Keith
Smart Cars are the off spring of a Mini and a Honda Fit, and yes we do have them. Having ridden in a 4 seater Piper Apache it is a bit like that. You are just crammed into a tiny space for the duration of your trip, only with the Smart Car it is without the benefit of flight. Good call on the NA beer.
Hell, there was I thinking that the Smart car was the illicit lovechild following a dirty weekend between a Mercedes A Class and a Swatch.
Hang on, I’ve worked it all out; following the sad failure of B&W Bro’s managing to break into the TV & Film indusrty, Jim’s going it alone without Don and is planning to create “The Italian Job #3” where he dares to raid a brewery using underground drainage systems for his getaway in the Mini.
Of course he succeeds, but the thing he overlooks is that the boot, sorry trunk, is only big enough for a six-pack.
Since it’s a convertible, I think another AB beer would perfectly compliment the Mini: Shock Top. 😉