I have to call myself out on something – I don’t have any facial hair. No beard, no goatee, not even a soul patch. I’m clean shaven and sideparted. I’ve come to the conclusion that this makes me somewhat of a rarity in the beer geek kingdom, sort of like one of those weird skinless cats. Besides me, just about every hardcore beer fan I know (the boys anyway) have some sort of facial hair, sideburns not withstanding.
I’m hoping to get some data behind this, so I’ve created the poll below. Please take a moment and let us know where you stand with facial hair. Also, I’d appreciate it if you’d share the poll with beer geeks you know so we can get as large of a sample as possible. I don’t mean to pander for site traffic here, I just want to see how much of a freak I am. I suspect that it might be worse than I think.
Also, Don and I are working on something new – a video-casty kinda thing. We did a test run last night and touched upon this very subject. I’ve posted it below as well so you can check it out and let us know what you think (besides the fact that my mic is too low).
EXPLICIT UPDATE: Our pal Daniel has launched a new website for facialfolicalphiles in the style of his beer-related website. Click here to check it out but be warned, the site contains decidedly NSFW language, which is awesome.
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Beer & Whiskey Brothers 
Represent the beard!
I think Don has enough facial hair for the both of us (and I have enough on my head!).
ZING!
I think some sort of facial hair should be a requirement, sideburns and/or a soul patch at least. That said, facial hair among my beer geek friends is probably 50/50 if we count sideburns.
Also, over at Building International Coalitions Through Beer and Pavement (man, is that a mouthful), I went through my own bearded period. My wife hated it, but my daughter loved it. Picture proof is here: http://pavementandbeerforpeace.wordpress.com/2011/02/11/35-years-down/
You look good in a beard – mine made me look like I was in hiding!
Representing the non-hairy women beer geeks here, but I will say that I LOVE facial hair on a guy….when my husband tried shaving I freaked out and made him grow it back!
But Katie, if you could grow facial hair…ROWR!
They’d kiss and start a fire!
Yeah, maybe itl’ll make my ass look smaller…….
If that’s the case, I expect to see MANY bearded women in the near future!
Whoa! There’s nothing wrong with a big ass!
I’m sensing a third poll right after the women who like facial hair one.
I never said it was big 🙂
I grew a beard last winter and my wife hated it. But she loves good beer, so that’s half the battle I guess.
As a side note… Since I’ve gotten into craft beer, my tastes in guys has changed, and now I tend to be more attracted to guys with facial hair.
I see another poll here for the ladies…
I try to shave only 3 times a week so I can have a nice 5 o’clock shaddow daily. I enjoy a light beard. When it’s racing season, I generally support a bigger beard and then shave it into something for a race. Mustaches 75% of the time.
So a lager-like beard most of the time, and racing stripes for sporting events. Nice!
I have massive sideburns. It’s the compromise I had to deal with since my woman is anti-beard
Just keeping the kisser clean?
My beard has reached full gestation today. Nine months since my unfortunate coldface situation. This was the first year in a while that I didn’t participate in moustache march. Last year, I was Yosemite Sam with 18 months of whiskers sprouting from my upper lip. The facial hair thing goes back much further than the craft (or any) beer thing for me, with mutton chops, fu manchus and even the goatee (the Dane Cook of facial hair) sported over the last decade.
the goatee = the Dane Cook of facial hair
Very nice. I sported one in high school and one of those chin things my freshman year of college. This was in 1993-94, mind you. When will we outgrow the goatse…er…I mean goatee.
Glad to hear it’s in full bloom, Daniel. Just in time to hide Easter eggs in it.
Daniel wins! Do you got any birds in there yet?
I have sported a short beard for about three years now and have the blond hair/red beard combo. My girlfriend steadfastly refuses to let me shave it off. I have been told I look exactly like the gay dad in “Modern Family.” I’m unsure how to take that.
i have also gotten that comparison, however misguided.
Hmm . . . do all ginger-beards look the same to everyone else? That’s racist!
Yes. And the Ginger Beards is a great name for a band. You two should get on that!
I’ve already taken Ginger Beard productions for the failed documentary project I launched last winter.
And now, without further ado, http://wp.me/p1tVjJ-b
Hilarious poll! There seems indeed a disproportionate amount of ‘beards’ in the beer community! I switch back and forth between a full beard and a goatee, compromise between wife’s clean shaven preference and the full beard). Had that since high school, there is only 1 picture of me in my adult life I am aware of that shows me clean shaven.
That’s funny, Wim, because I have only one pic in my adult life of me having a beard!
Jim,
If John Krasinski decides to retire from playing “Jim” on The Office, I think you could slide right into the role with no one noticing. I see a Dick York/Dick Sargent Bewitched switch in your future. You’ll cost less and you’re already named Jim!
Yea! Was thinking this but wasn’t sure how to break it to him.
I thought the same fellas…except Pam is outta this Jims reach. Does that mean Don would be Kevin?
Hold on there, fella, I don’t think she’s outta my reach, but because I adore my wife, we’ll never know! And thanks for calling Don Kevin and not Dwight – he doesn’t have the psychopathic flair to pull that off!
Well piling on is as nice a way as any, Daniel.
I’ve gotten that comparison before – boy next door and all that. I’ve also gotten Jim Carrey and Ben Afleck, so go figure.
Man, I’ve had this goatee for before forever. Since before I was a beer geek and just a regular geek. My wife says I look 10 years younger without it, so that’s her reason for making me keep it? Once in awhile I have a shaving ‘accident’ but then the nagging starts to grow it back. Makes me want to run away and join a facial hair liberation colony.
It’s interesting how many of guys have their facial hair status dictated to them by the significant other. in my case I married a beard-hater.
Interesting poll. I went beardless for a 20+ years. That changed in 2009 when the neighbors went with a pirate themed Halloween. Grew the beard and kept it till Spring. Decided to grow it again this past Thanksgiving. I’m down to a goatee. Let’s see how long it lasts.
Cool video by the way! I’ll try it with sound when I get home.
Cheers!
G-LO
When I’ve grown a beard in the past, I always go full beard, and then goatee, and then soulpatch and then clean-shaven, usually while standing over the sink with razor in hand.
On the video, audio and work usually don’t mesh. Hope you get a chance to view it tonight.https://beerwhiskeyandbrotherhood.wordpress.com/wp-admin/edit-comments.php#comments-form
You skip the hitler ‘stache? I thought everyone did that.
Nein.
I think the real reason that I grown a beard is so that I can prove that I can actually grow hair above by neck. Like Don, I too am follicley challenged.
I’ll definitely check out the video. You boys are looney! In a good way of course.
Better than going full Mr. Clean, G-LO!
I dared G-lo into the beard but other than when it’s needed for a costume I go clean shaven. Besides, as a Wookie, I can grow a beard in 30-40 minutes if needed (faster during the full moon).
“Beard” even has the word “beer” in it, phonetically. Ergo, I rock the beard.
Benefit: I look like a smarmy liberal academic.
Bonus benefit: Shaving sucks and I don’t have to do it.
I won’t refute any of your points except the first. Beard doesn’t have “beer” in it (unless you’re a slosher), it has “bear” in it, as in grizzly.
And i can look smarmy as hell without one, thank you very much! 😉
Yeah, he can…I’ve seen it. Smarminess Maximus.
I think it’s great that everyone who reads this article gets to the bottom and sees “Don is Hairy = Good”.
😀
Which turns out not to be the case if you watch the video…
If they’re lucky, Jim and Don will get a bunch of traffic from searches for “bears.”
So far the most exotic search that has led here has been “yam”. No bears yet.
Let’s not forget “Cubs” and “Twinks” along with the bears – there, that should do it!
“Yam”? Any idea what they were looking for or why you came up in their search?
At least once a day, I get a hit from a different search that would make your jaw drop.
I used “Yam” in the headline for my review of the Bruery’s Autumn Maple: https://beerandwhiskeybros.com/2009/10/14/keep-your-pumpkin-beer-%E2%80%93-i%E2%80%99m-a-yam-man/
I’ve gotten three hits over the last two days from people searching for “penis amputation”.
And now, I’ve infected BWB as a potential target for penis amputation search hits, too!
When I think about penis amputation, I think about how John Wayne Bobbit had his penis amputated, and that was not good. He had his penis reattached, which was a medical miracle – who knew penis reattachment was possible? Of course medical science offers all sorts of miracles, whether reattaching an amputated penis or a surgically enhancing the penis, or having a sex change operation, or genital piercing, there’s no end to the bad keywords you can absentmindedly pump into your site! 🙂
Geez Jim, why not ad Erectile dysfunction, Genital Worts, Herpes Symplex 12, can I get cold sores from oral sex, vaginal discharge, penile discharge, bleeding from penis, vasectomy, tubal ligation, endometriosis, and penile vacuum while you are at it!
I wasn’t on board until penile vacuum – I think we can dominate that one!
I think this thread just showed up on Fleshbot. Not that I was perusing Fleshbot or anything.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
I do a fairly irregular feature on the most…interesting…search terms I get.
I think the Bobbit porn was called “FrankenPenis”, which gives me an idea for my blog.
“Horror Movies Starring John Wayne Bobbit’s Penis”
Add some yeast to “genital worts” and you will get genital beer.
I think GPA is an new category this year at GABF.
Oof. Saw that in my head Alex…
I see a new poll in the future: “Does your penis have a beard?”
What was this post about again?
Bears.
Da Bears!
You just never know where the stream of consciousness will take this place! Jim, Don, and other commenter people, thanks for cracking me up this morning. 🙂
Great. Now we’ll get “crack” hits. Next thing you know, someone will type “meth.”
Oops.
I grew up among the Amish, what can I say: the last time I shaved was the day I got married, 21 years ago. It’s a cultural thing…
I dunno, Lew. The amount of time you spend with your nose in your cellphone makes me question just how much of the Amish thing stuck. Been to a barn raising lately? 🙂