Now beer has progressed past the stage of analysis and beyond the empty vessel which holds its magical goodness to hip new ways to open the thing. Yes open the can.

As if the church key making a flirtatious comeback as something charming, to those who have never used one of the things isn’t enough superfluous kitsch. Now the purveyors of some of the finest beers on Earth (Miller) have combined a trifecta of opening technologies into a single container. How about a pull tab combined with a push top which requires a church key? Well get ready to change those shorts because this has manifested in the patent pending ‘Punch-Top’ can which was invented to allow for a smoother pour.

Smother pour? Considering the average consumer of Miller products would need a smoother appearing pour to mask some effects of the DTs, makes perfect sense as well as a business decision. Yet I’m still not sated with the latest offering as it still manages to exclude the crown finish and a slotted key opener still used on Spam cans. Perhaps I was premature in thinking the world will end this year, there is still plenty of absurd machinations which can be added to opening a beer and looking hip.

On a happy note, the beer is decent, which is the important part.

I HAVE SPOKEN! Use a big-boy can that is designed to let me easily drink beer, or get the hell out of here.

The thing you wrote about them being surprised at using a glass describes the entire scenario perfectly. They’re so concerned with getting the proper packaging that they don’t even care about how it should be conseumed. All that matters is how you look when you drink it.

Oldest line in the book!

But I’m w/ Zac on this, this is just one more label keeping people from really seeing and enjoying each other. Wear a trucker hat or a tinfoil one, a flannel shirt or a wife beater, hell wear nothing at all–I don’t care, just pass me a beer.