If you’re thinking of going to the Great American Beer Festival, you should stop now.
All the tickets to the October beer sampling extravaganza sold in in less than 20 minutes, with many people unable to click their way into a pass for the festival. As you can imagine, these people are thrilled.
“That was bullshit,” said one happy fellow on GABF’s Facebook page, where they proudly announced the news that all the tickets had sold out in a whirlwind of activity.
One woman was very thankful to Ticketmaster, who handled the sale of tickets on behalf of the Brewers Association. “Thanks for letting scalpers buy enormous blocks of tickets, Ticketmaster!,” she beamed, “Guess we all get to go buy them for double the price on Craigslist now.”
How fun – Internet shopping!
If you did manage to secure a golden ticket, you’ll most likely be enjoying your beer samples next to a robot. What is this, ComicCon?!
“The only people getting tickets were the scalper bots,” said one cyborg fan. “I knew you’d then promote how it sold out quickly. You clowns need to fix this mess you’ve created with ticketmaster. I was online at exactly 10:00am and did not get any tickets. What a crock.”
This beer lover was so stoked about getting to pay even more for a ticket on StubHub, all the excitement gave him a belly ache! “Welp $155 later on Stubhub. I’m furious right now. I was on ticketmaster at 10:00am on the dot and couldn’t get a ticket. This is a horrible way to treat beer lovers and I’m sick to my stomach about it.”
Someone needs a tummy rub!
One woman had kind words for those who did manage to secure a ticket: “Congrats to all the scalpers!”
This gentleman wasn’t sure if his Internet microphone was working, saying, “For the cost of the tickets on Ebay, I could buy one of every beer at the show and have a private tasting. Hello? Is anyone listening? Don’t you want real beer fans at your show?”
Another happy go lucky beer fan summed up thusly: “Fuck this shit. GABF is a joke now! I’ll just go to all the small beer events around town instead.”
These are but a few smatterings of the good tidings and joyful pronouncements made by craft beer aficionados.
How about you – did YOU score a ticket to GABF?