If you were king or queen of the beer pong court in college, it might be time to dust off your balls (the ping pong type), because now you can go pro. The World Beer Pong Tour wrapped up a tournament in Atlantic City, NJ last week, with the winners (some nerds from California called “Drinkin’ Smokin’ Straight West Coastin’”) coming away $25,000 richer. That’s serious money. Maybe they can use it to pay their parents back for all that squandered tuition.
Actually, they should give it back in protest because the competition is kinda bogus. You see, the cups are filled with water. That’s right, they’re playing beer pong without beer.
Some of you might rightly say that the macrobrews used to catch the dirty ping pong balls might as well be water, but they at least have some alcohol content. And that alcohol is a key factor in the game, as the defending team must drink the beer out of every cup that’s hit by the opposition. Over time, swigging those swill soaked Solo cups will affect aim, strategy, and eventually your ability or desire to keep your pants on. Playing beer pong with water is like putting UFC fighters in those giant inflatable Sumo Warrior costumes. It takes away a big component of the game.
Or so I theorize. As I read about the World Beer Pong Tour, I realized that I’ve never actually played beer pong. I guess that’s what you get for staying local and commuting to college. Do you think this is going to affect my chances of going pro?